The other day, Tupelo and I had an errand to do at a local print shop. I sat down and loved on the resident golden retriever while we waited for the quick job to be done. All kinds of sayings covered the walls — mottos – creeds — posters — inspiring words, all. I had plenty of time to read most of them.

One caught my eye. It read: “What would you try if you knew you couldn’t fail?”

Ooh, I liked that one. Imagine having a golden touch, and anything we wanted we could have. With every goal we could think of, we’d be successful, fulfilled, thrilled and content. Our inner critic would not exist. If failure was taken out of the equation, our imagination and determination would soar. Undeniable strength would come from knowing how powerful we are as creators. Our life would be exactly what we would want it to be. The law of attraction wouldn’t be a theory or a philosophy, it would be fact.

When Tupelo came from the back room, I pointed it out to him. He smiled. Like me, he considered it a pep talk – a sentence to jumpstart our thinking into doing without having the fear of failure.

The owner of the shop saw which one we had singled out from the wall of words and nodded. “I like that one too. But an older gentleman came in the other day, and when he read it he said, ‘If I knew I wouldn’t fail, I would do nothing. What good is it if you already know the outcome? Where’s the challenge?’”

Ooh, I liked that too. I understand the man’s point. Imagine what it would feel like to know ahead of time that whatever we tried, failure would not be an option. Every cake would come out of the oven magazine perfect. Every creative endeavor would end up exactly like we had envisioned. Every client would be thrilled with our work. Metaphorically, we would reach every mountain we set out to climb.

I agree with the gentleman. After a series of easily achieved successes, we would think, what’s the point? Our joy in the achieving would feel hollow, our effort inconsequential. We’d fall into an uninspired state, and do nothing. It would have the exact same outcome as if we were afraid of failure in the first place. We would do nothing.

Think of the last time your efforts turned out successful and re-experience the elation that came from it. Why would we even consider short circuiting that feeling? It’s the mystery of not knowing the outcome that creates deep joy and satisfaction. Success or failure brings us our greatest life’s lessons.

It reminds me of the time we hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon with some close friends. Tupelo and I thought we were fit enough for the strenuous hike and were well equipped for the four day camping trip. After hiking seven miles down the Kaibab Trail that first day I was doubting my sanity the following morning when I couldn’t roll out of my sleeping bag. My legs hurt so much I couldn’t walk without squeaking in pain with every step. My back ached with the memory of the 60 lb. pack.

Three days later I almost kissed the ground when we got to the top of the Bright Angel Trail. I was elated. I made it! I had blisters the size of quarters on my feet. Every cell in my body ached. But I was thrilled. The journey to the bottom of the Grand Canyon on a full moon, autumn equinox was not the easy outing I had envisioned. But because of the immense challenge and toll it took on my mind and body, it turned out to be one of the most memorable and worthwhile experiences of my life.

So the statement, “What would you try if you knew you couldn’t fail?” is true from both vantage points.

Coming from the first direction, let your imagination fly with the inner knowing that whatever you try, you will succeed. Put no limitations on yourself. Make a list if you want to. Then let this list be an inspiration to make your life better — however you envision it.

Coming from the gentleman’s outlook, let the statement be a kick in the butt. If life was easy, what would be the point? Life is worth every drop of sweat, and every tear we shed. The point is that we have to take charge and try beyond our abilities.

We do have a golden touch. We just need to believe we do, the courage to use it and the heart to try.

It’s been over 35 years since I flew to Europe by myself in 1973. My travel legs are steadier now. My armor is thicker, my patience packed deeper. I’ve endured much since then. Rank smells, huge bugs in my bed, outdoor meat markets and hordes of flies. I’ve been smashed together with people and pigs on a Guatemalan bus for 12 hours, only to do it again the next day. I’ve been sick. I’ve been stranded. I’ve been robbed. I’ve been lost. But none of this stops me from starting to pack a month before I’m due to go to a place even more remote and unknown. I must love it.

And not for just the stories I glean from it, but what it does for me. I like the person I am when I travel.

If you strip away everything you are accustomed to — language, clothing, customs, landscape, the appearance of the money, the food, everything — you get a real close look at who’s left standing. You either like who you see, or you don’t. When you travel, get ready to know yourself a little better.

Recently, Tupelo and I were rumbling through Cambodia on a bus heading to Thailand’s border. As the bus shook over the bone-rattling road, the hard seat beneath me made it impossible to get comfortable, but I didn’t complain as I looked out my window as if it were a TV screen. Plowed fields were churned dark behind overworked oxen and sweating men. Naked children played in the mud. Fat pigs wallowed in shadows cast from thatched huts on stilts.

I felt removed from the scenes blurring by my window. The ancient bus quarantined me from their lives. I could never fathom their joys and sorrows, their deepest secrets. I was just skimming through their world like a dried leaf on moving water. And yet I felt my heart opening, exposing long held beliefs, questioning them, fleshing out new thoughts, surprising myself. Gratitude for my own life spiked with a tender barb.

When we booked the tickets the day before, the smiling travel agent pointed to the poster on the wall that showed a sparkling, luxury motorcoach. We laid our money down gladly, envisioning the comfort we’ll be floating in for the 150 dusty miles to the border. What showed up the following morning was nothing more than a repainted school bus. It was too late to make other arrangements so without a word we jumped on board. The promised air-conditioning was an opened window. Luggage stacked high on the seat in front of us threatened to fall with every curve and pothole. But we are used to it. This is just the way things work in the third world.

When you travel, you’ve got to leave behind the tendency to have everything the exactly way you want it to be. Instead bring along an endless supply of patience and a hefty dose of humor. Otherwise it’s going to drive you crazy.

You can’t travel stiff. Because of the immense differences in cultures and peoples, one has to bend to fit in, to make do, and hopefully enjoy the process. Travel tests our limits in nearly every way. We have to be willing to find out what they are, and then go beyond.

Travel shakes out the good, the bad, and the ugly. The good for me is the incredible sense of awe and fascination I feel when immersed in a new culture, and finding out how well I fare in varied or difficult situations. The bad is the heart breaking scenes of human conditions and the mistreatment of animals. The ugly, hum – I guess I haven’t found that yet, but to tell you the truth, I’m not really looking.

The unexpected brings us deeper and more meaningful travel experiences. Giving up our tendency for control stretches us, sometimes digging up traits or fears we thought were long buried. It can be unnerving, but eventually this can be a good thing. Like I said before, if you travel be willing to get to know yourself a little bit better.

Getting to know yourself better should be at the top of the list for reasons why you travel. Go ahead. Let go. Surprise yourself. You can thank yourself later.

Hi {!name},

We all make mistakes. Or do we?

In life, we have plenty of should-have-dones, and if-I-had-only-knowns, but do we really make mistakes? No, I don’t think so.

Let me explain: A very close sister-friend of mine has had marriages that ended in nasty divorces. Obviously, this saddens her, and unfortunately, she feels unlovable and a failure because of them. We have had many conversations over the years where she bemoans the huge mistakes of marrying these men. I listen because she needs me to, but I don’t agree that they were mistakes.

I look at it like this: There are no mistakes, just hard lessons.

When our choices turn out to be less than what we wanted, it was no mistake we brought these tough experiences onto ourselves. It happened because we were meant to learn that lesson.

Make no mistake, I’m not saying that some choices don’t knock us on our butt. These are the ones that scratch the diamond who we are, but eventually, after the hurt subsides, we are polished because of them. The experience fine-tunes us, and hopefully, makes us smarter. Tall order sometimes, I know. But if we grasp the true meaning behind the raw emotions, hopefully we don’t have to repeat what isn’t for our greater good.

The harder the lesson the more we can glean from it. It may take awhile to lose the heavy emotions and gain a new perspective, but if we’re patient, there will come a time when we can grasp the enormous gift hidden inside. This is key.

But the first step is to believe we never make mistakes. Instead, we can look at it like this: Hard lessons catapult us to being the best we can be. We’re not perfect, don’t claim to be, but we’re expanding our perception to try and see the good in our choices — whatever that may be.

Tupelo and I are in Mexico on a second-class train streaking down through the Copper Canyon. But we’re not inside the stifling passenger car, sitting on torn seats with our shoes sticking to the grimy floor and looking out a smudged window. No. By a very quick series of events, we have found ourselves outside, clinging to a skinny rail at the very front of the train, directly above the cow-catcher. Jagged rocks slice by inches from my cheek. The deep canyon is a breath away from my precarious footing. Knuckles white, hair plastered back, my screams are sucked away as if freefalling into the valley below.

I’m having the best time of my life! My situation is dangerous beyond description. But here we are, Tupelo and I, standing on the edge. We’re ecstatic.

We’re in Costa Rica, barreling down a white water river. Untamed, unpredictable, the water is impassioned as it boils its way to the ocean. Class 4 rapids tumble and churn. Our guide speaks quickly and succinctly, giving us instructions as to what we need to do to get our tiny raft through the giant turbulence. There’s no time to lose. With cascading water on each side, boulders the size of small houses, our tiny helmet and life jacket are a joke. I’m not screaming this time because my heart is lodged in my throat.

I’m blissed out.

I saw a woman wearing a T-shirt that read: I want to be used up when I die.

I couldn’t agree with her more.

Playing it safe is not written in my genetic code. I’m not saying I’m never terrified. Quite the opposite. Massive heights tend to freeze my heart, like the tallest and longest zip line in the world, but still, I jumped. Birds scattered and monkeys took cover for miles around because of my scream.

Sitting numbly at home, watching other people having an adventurous life on my TV screen is something I don’t chose to do. Why should they have all the fun? Why should they get all the friends with the witty dialogue? Why do they get to go on all the great adventures? Where’s the good in that?

I say we must get our own life and then use it up. If we don’t spend it, no one else will. Can’t reuse it. Can’t recycle it. Can’t cash it in for a refund. What a cosmic waste.

Life is a complex tapestry. Each small fiber holds the promise of love and fear, hope and despair, angst and elation, sorrow, beauty, but most of all, joy. We have the choice to twist and turn our tapestry to the light or to the shade. We either cower under it or we wear it upon our shoulders like wings.

You can probably guess the condition of my wings by now.

I know of many others. Like the only blind man in history to hike the entire Appalachian Trail by himself with just the help of his dog. And the man who broke his back in a severe car accident and was told he would never walk again, who we met in Guatemala, as he was bicycling his way from Seattle to Chili. And the blind-since-birth, 24-year-old woman who sings like an angel and plays the piano, performing all over the country to hundreds of very appreciative audiences. Each one is not afraid to wear their tapestry like wings.

I have to ask, have you looked at your life’s tapestry lately? It’s never too late to take it out of the box, let it fly, and use it up!

I’m seven and it’s the summer between 1st and 2nd grade. I’m standing in line for my chance to try out for the swim team. The only trouble is, I don’t know how to swim. Minor detail. The only prerequisite at that moment was my desire to be on the swim team.

A giant man stands beside the pool with a whistle around his neck, telling us what to do. When our turn comes, we’re to dive into the shallow end and then swim to the far end of the long pool. He warns us not to touch the bottom at any time or grab onto the side. We have to go the distance without stopping if we want to make the team.

My turn. I step up to the ledge. “Dive” he had said. I don’t know how to dive, so I basically fling myself at the water, arms wide, belly first. When I hit, water gorges my nose and mouth. Coughing, my feet hit bottom. Dismayed, I look up at the giant man. He gives me a second chance and motions for me to keep going.

Like I said, I don’t know how to swim, so I basically flail my way to the far end while he walks along side, holding a pole in front of me should I need it. I don’t need it.

He helps me out of the pool. “Did I make the swim team?” I ask, breathlessly. He smiles, “Yes,” he said. “But first we need to teach you how to swim.” I’m thrilled. I made the team! All I need to do is learn how to swim. How hard could it be?

I never missed a practice that summer because I lived right across the street from the pool. I not only learned to swim, but was on a competitive swim team until I graduated from high school. The tenacity born on that first day served me well.

Now I’m older, but this trait of flinging myself into the unknown, with little knowledge of how to get myself out of it, hasn’t left me. I wasn’t afraid then, why should I be afraid now?

I believe it serves us well to jump into the deep end before we know how to swim. Arms held wide, heart open, flinging ourselves into situations before the outcome is known gives us the thrill of unpredictability, opens us up to surprises, and brings us life experiences we are desperately needing. It places us on the edge where we learn who we really are.

Predictability is boring. I, for one, didn’t come here to live a boring life. How about you? When the time comes, I urge you to step to the edge. Be courageous. Keep your sense of humor. And then jump. Flail yourself to the other end if you must. Perhaps spitting and coughing on the other side, you will be amazed at the person who rises out of the water triumphant. Only at that moment will you realize it was all worth it.

But first you have to jump.

I’m in Greece. I’ve just turned 20, and I’m about to have my fortune read. I didn’t go willingly. I had no interest what-so-ever of knowing my future because I was having a great time traveling the world on a backpack and a prayer, and I didn’t need some gypsy telling me where my path was taking me. I wanted to find out for myself. It’s like Christmas morning – Why would I want to know what was in my gifts and spoil the surprise?

I also innately knew that our momentum into future events can change at any moment because of free will. I was flexing my free will muscles on a daily basis. They were becoming resilient and strong.

But I have to admit, I was a tiny bit intrigued. A fortune teller in Greece – how could I pass up this experience? And like I said, I was up for surprises.

My first surprise came when we didn’t walk down a creepy path to find a secluded hut in the dark hills, but took a bus to a middle class suburb of Athens. No bead curtains. No crystal balls and candles. No scarves and long skirts, heavy make-up or enchantment. She was a housewife. A plainly-dressed, American woman living off-base with her Army husband.

We sat around her Formica table under florescent lights and drank dense Greek coffee in little cups. When we were done, the thick grounds settled to the bottom. She flipped the cups upside down on each of the saucers and then talked about the latest presidential election.

My friend, Laura, a worldly woman from California and who has seen it all at the rip old age of 22, was first. The fortune teller looked at the mass of coffee grounds in her cup and talked in generalities. I don’t remember one thing she said to her. I just remember what she said to me.

She flipped over my cup, looked inside, gasped and turned it back over. She looked to her husband for guidance, her hand over her mouth. I stood up abruptly, my chair falling behind me. I pushed my hands out to her as if to stop an ill wind from forming.

“I don’t want to know!” I said.

Laura reached up and touched my arm.

“Janey,” she said in a soft tone, “This is just bullshit.”

She knew me well. She knew how much I trusted her. I took a deep breath and sat back down.

“I see death,” the woman said softly. “And soon.”

My mind quickly scanned the faces of my family back in the States. My heart clenched. Laura put her hand on my arm again. She squeezed. I got the message, and took another deep breath to calm down. I began to chant silently, this-is-bullshit, this-is-bullshit.

“It’s major, and it’s close.” The woman acted as if her words were rebelling to come out. I didn’t want to know specifics, but she didn’t let on that she knew any. I was relieved when we finally got out of there.

I wish I could say I believed Laura and not the fortune-telling woman, but my mind replayed her words over and over. Until one day, insight hit, and I laughed in the face of death.

This fortune telling episode happened during the first year of traveling when I had escaped the conventions of being a predictable hometown girl to find my own way. I was learning everyday about myself. It was shocking and thrilling and scary. I was exploring my freedom, my emotions, my inner voice. It was a brand new world. The old me had died. This death was major and it was close.

How about that? The old gal was right after all. What a nice surprise.

Occasionally an original thinker comes along, and everyone benefits. Steve Pavlina is such a person and his new book is destined to become a classic. It’s called “Personal Development for Smart People: The Conscious Pursuit of Personal Growth.”

What I appreciate most about Steve’s style is that he has a fresh perspective. He’s obviously very intelligent (he earned a Bachelor’s degree in 3 semesters), but beyond his keen intellect is a well-balanced student of expanding consciousness. Yes he has a big brain, but his heart is equally well developed. Most personal growth experts are either brainiacs or love gurus. Steve has pioneered a refreshing blend of head and heart based on common sense and direct experience. This is a rare quality.

“My greatest breakthroughs usually come from personal experimentation…” — Steve Pavlina

His refreshing approach is obvious at the beginning of the book where he outlines how the book was born and how it is organized. (And yes, it is very organized!)

“It took me almost two and a half years, but I eventually found the solution I was looking for. It consists of just three core principles: truth, love and power. Four secondary principles are directly derived from the first three: oneness, authority, courage and intelligence. Oneness is truth plus love. Authority is truth plus power. Courage is love plus power. And intelligence is the total combination of truth, love and power . . . these principles are universal; they cannot be successfully compartmentalized without sacrificing something far more important — our true nature as conscious beings.” — Steve Pavlina

The book is organized around these fundamental principles. Personal anecdotes from Steve’s life illustrate his points and keep the material easy to grasp. The principles are sometimes obvious and sometimes deep. I found myself occasionally thinking, “Why didn’t I think of that?” (Many times, I did think of that, but had never articulated it so succinctly.) I appreciate his honest communication style and his gift of making deep concepts easy to catch.

“Genuine personal growth is honest growth. You can’t take short-cuts through the land of make-believe.” — Steve Pavlina

Truth

I resonated deeply with Steve’s recommendation for the importance of discovering your own truth and then learning how to live it on a moment-to-moment basis. We have all grown up in an era where we are brainwashed by the media. I know that’s a harsh assessment, but my own personal experience convinces me that it’s true. It’s a matter of degrees — some of us are mildly brainwashed and know it, while others are thoroughly brainwashed and clueless. (I explored this idea in depth in previous articles, “The Trouble with TV” and “Trade TV Time for Habits of Personal Development and Success.”)

“The cumulative effect of mass-media exposure is to condition you to adopt a false view of reality — one that upholds pro-advertiser values. The more you expose yourself to mainstream media such as television, the more skewed your mental model of reality becomes . . . this is a path of long-term laziness, apathy, and decay, not intelligent self-actualization.” — Steve Pavlina

Love

Here’s another topic that I have also explored in depth — connecting with other people. Steve explains how his wife, Erin helped him to open up to the fact that deep inside, we are really all one. Once that is experienced, relationships are forever changed. Close relationships become deeper, and new relationships begin to take on new dimensions. (I enjoyed exploring these important ideas in a previous article, “Meaningful Spiritual Relationships — Namaste Matters.” )

“There are few greater joys in life than the experience of conscious communication with another person. No ego games, false fronts, or manipulative tactics are employed. Both individuals simply want to connect with each other for the purpose of learning and growing. Once you’ve experienced such open, loving communication with another human being, it’s hard to settle for anything less.” — Steve Pavlina

Steve explains how Erin is a master of quick connections. She does this easily because she believes, rather she knows in her heart that we are all deeply connected, like individual cells forming one body. It’s not necessary for her to labor over creating new connections with people. Instead she just taps into the underlying connection she knows is already there. I’ve known a few people who can do this – my wife, Janey, for one, and it is a wonder to behold. It feels great, but I must admit, I’m still learning. I believe it, I love the idea of it . . . it’s just that I am still breaking through years of social conditioning and erroneous preconceived notions about our separateness.

“Instead of having to break the ice with someone, assume that there is no ice.” — Steve Pavlina

Power

The idea of exercising your own personal power and deliberately creating your best life is a theme that has run through many of my articles. I have known the value of this for a long time and continually explore new ways to do it better and better. It feels right to take the reins of life firmly in hand and deliberately steer it toward your deepest desires. What could be more important or more satisfying than to manifest the best version of yourself and the best life possible? (See “Your Passion as Your Compass,” and “Integrity Through Self-Reliance” and “Goal Setting or Let Go and Let God.”)

“When you set a goal that improves your present reality, what does it matter how long it takes to achieve the final outcome? Whether it takes one week or five years is irrelevant. The whole path is fun and enjoyable. More important, you feel happy and fulfilled this very moment. This drives you to take action from a state of joy, so you’re productive too. Instead of going after goals you think will make you happy in the distant future, focus on goals that make you happy right now.” — Steve Pavlina

Self-Discipline

Successful people usually have it. Unsuccessful people usually don’t. That’s a good clue about the importance of self-discipline in a successful and fulfilling life. To me, the idea of self-discipline is simply a promise I make to myself based on my current understanding on what’s best. It has to be best for me, as well as the good of the whole, for me to be able to get behind it and push when necessary.

“It’s your fail-safe, your motivational backup system . . . motivation starts the race, but self-discipline ultimately crosses the finish line.” — Steve Pavlina

Besides the satisfaction of completing self-appointed tasks as a result of well-functioning personal self-discipline, it feels good while the task is in progress too. It helps you feel good about yourself when you know you are capable of making an important promise to yourself . . . and then keeping it. (See previous article, “Self-Discipline in 3 Easy Steps.”)

Authority

Socrates said, “Know thyself.” That’s a good first step to being authentic. You can’t be yourself until you know yourself. Social conditioning has a way of turning us into homogenous drones . . . cogs in the wheel of industry and consumerism. There’s more to life that that. Much more. It all begins with our personal authority. Unless you assumne your own authority, don’t expect anyone else to simply grant it to you by default. (See previous article, “Know Thyself — Ignore Comparisons and Be Yourself.”)

“When you live without authority, your default behavior is to squander your time. You may acquire some knowledge, but you won’t apply it well. You may take some action, but your movements will be chaotic and unfocused. You have the potential to live a powerful, self-directed life of your choosing, but until you step into your true authority, this potential remains a fantasy.” — Steve Pavlina

Each of us have the responsibility and the profound privilege to take the raw materials of our life and turn it into the life of our dreams. It’s satisfying beyond measure — easily worth whatever it takes to learn how to do it well. This habit of mental discipline is not done in broad strokes but in the small details of life. It’s the little things over a period of time that add up to making a big difference. What are you doing today that has the potential of making a lasting difference in the quality of your life and your personal satisfaction?

“People of authority focus on what really matters to them. They don’t waste time on trivialities . . . What’s important to you in life? What’s a relative waste of your time? . . . If you can’t honestly predict a positive long-term impact from your actions, admit that you’re wasting your time, and set some goals that really matter to you. There’s no substitute for investing your life in something that has the potential to make a real difference.” — Steve Pavlina

Persistence

It’s easy to give up. Anyone can do that. And most people do. Succesful people, in all areas of life, are simply people who have tried and failed enough times to have gained a good education. They fall down, get up and keep going. They recognize it as part of the journey. The failures are opportunities to learn, so they don’t shrink from them. Instead they embrace the new lesson learned and press on. Persistent people are inspired people, and they are inspiring. (See previous article, “Persistence and Perseverance for Winners — Losers Just Quit“)

“I don’t get inspired by people who have all the external trappings of success like money and fame. I’m moved by those who I can see are destined for greatness, but no one else knows it yet. The telltale sign is always the same — persistence.” — Steve Pavlina

Courage

One of my favorite authors in Carlos Castaneda and the way he described his tutelage by the Yaqui Indian shaman, Don Juan. I’ve read all his books, some of them several times, so I wasn’t surprised when Steve Pavlina quoted Don Juan . . .

“Before you embark on [any path] ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path . . . When a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him.” — Carlos Castaneda

Does this idea hold any special meaning to you? The idea of a path with heart is a very personal idea, and only you can recognize the truth of your answer. It reminds me of the lyrics to one of my songs:

“And no one but you can find the answer to your quest
Your answer’s for you and not all the rest
(You know your answer’s the best, it’s not a contest)
The question is easy enough, and any honest answer is good enough
You really gotta know . . . . . what do you love?”
- From the song, “Do What You Love” by Tupelo Kenyon

When you are in alignment with what you love, your path has heart. You find it easy, even joyful, to take action. You’re commited, and you like it that way. It’s not a chore but a thrill to do things when you are on your path with heart. (To honestly explore your personal path with heart, see this previous article, “10 Steps to Discovering Your Life’s Purpose.”)

“It’s a great idea to consciously intent what you want, and I highly recommend you do that, but if you don’t want something badly enough to take direct action, then what does that say about your intention? Doesn’t that suggest you aren’t really commited to it? When you’re really hungry, will you wait patiently for food to arrive, or will you get up and make something to eat? When your intentions are important to you, direct action becomes part of the manifestation process. The best instruments of the Law of Attraction are your own hands and feet.” — Steve Pavlina

Intelligence

There’s something deeply satisfying about reading what an intelligent person has to say about intelligence. That’s one of the reasons why I have enjoyed reading Einstein’s words, who said, “Imagination is more powerful than knowledge.”

Steve is a very imaginative person, plus he has learned how to apply the knowledge he has gained. It takes intelligence to do that. His book allows him to take the next step which is to share what he has learned. He has worked hard on his communication skills because he recognizes the importance of sharing the wealth of his intelligence with others. I love being inspired by articulate, intelligent, big-hearted people . . .

“Intelligence is the highest form of human expression. Our intelligence is what defines us as human beings. It is our greatest strength, our staunchest ally, and our most noble pursuit. Without it, we are nothingness; we are form without substance and existence without purpose. It is only through the deliberate exercise of intelligence that we give our lives meaning, a meaning that is consciously chosen . . . the most intelligent thing you can possibly do with your life is to grow.” — Steve Pavlina

Habits

Personally chosen, deliberately cultivated habits help keep us on track. They are tools that allow us to translate our resolve into our daily lives. They simplify the day-to-day activities that help us get from where we are to where we want to be. Good habits are our friends, and I really appreciated the following jewels of insight Steve offered on the subject of habits . . .

“How do you know if a habit is positive or negative? Use your mind’s predictive powers to imagine what long-term, cumulative effect each one will have if you maintain it for the rest of your life . . .

“Since habits wield power over your results, you must wield power over your habits . . .

“Take a moment to consider the social consequences of your actions. Do your habits help others align themselves with truth, love and power, or does your behavior lead people astray? . . . Which habits put you on a path with a heart? . . . When your habits are aligned with truth, love and power, the guy in the glass is your friend.” — Steve Pavlina

Career

It’s inspiring to learn from someone who has figured out a way to harness his greatest gifts to experience abundance while helping others at the same time. This paradigm is still rarely manifested in our current society, but examples like Steve can inspire us to our own greatest potential of contribution.

“. . . the best way to optimize your income is to find a career medium that allows you to share your most important message. By sharing your message with others, you provide exactly the kind of value that can generate abundant income.” — Steve Pavlina

I appreciate Steve’s take on contribution vs. mooching. Many of us are taught to get as much as we can for as little as possible. That is, maximize the return while minimizing the input. The natural extension of this mindset is a nation (or a world) of people expecting a handout. It’s entitlement mentality run a muck.

Instead, Steve does a fine job of extolling the virtues (personally and globally) of a mindset based on contribution. When you provide value, it is inevitable that you receive value in return. It’s a wonderful idea and a tad sad that such a common sense approach has fallen out of favor in modern society. Imagine what it would be like if everyone dealt with one another with this dedication to contribution, rather than focusing on, “What can I get?”

“To build an authentic career, you need to find the path that keeps you aligned with truth, love and power. This requires paying attention to the following four questions:

1. Body (needs): What must I do?
2. Mind (abilities): What can I do?
3. Heart (desire): What do I want to do?
4. Spirit (contribution): What should I do?

“An authentic career is found in the place where all four of these questions produce the same answer . . . When you have all four areas working synergistically together, the combined effect is truly amazing. Instead of meeting your needs, you experience true abundance. Instead of applying your knowledge to your tasks, you unlock your true genius. Instead of tolerating your daily routine, you work in a state of joy. And instead of just putting in your time, you fill your days with a sense of purpose.” — Steve Pavlina

Money

It’s best to learn from those who know. I once had a college instructor who never once demonstrated what he taught. He taught a swimming class, and he never got wet. It was difficult to believe the teacher was much of an authority on the subject when he shouted his instructions from the sidelines. It would have been easier to learn from him if he would have joined us in the game.

StevePavlina.com is one of the world’s most popular personal development blogs (if not the most popular). With over two million visitors per month, he knows what he is talking about, whether he is speaking about personal development or financial development.

“. . . money is a human invention to facilitate the exchange of value. To shun money as something evil or unnecessary is a huge mistake. When properly aligned with truth, love and power, it becomes a valuable tool of conscious living — one that’s too important to ignore. If you want to live consciously, you must learn to use money intelligently . . . work within the area of overlap between your personal values and social values. This will enable you to do what you love while creating something that others treasure as well. Don’t force yourself to focus between your integrity and your income — demand that both be satisfied.” — Steve Pavlina

The section on money in Steve’s book is thorough and thought-provoking. It will challenge you to rethink your assumptions about money and how to get more of it. I feel confident almost everyone will benefit from this enlightened look at money.

“Do your best to create and share your value with others, and you’ll help create a richer and more abundant world for all of us.” — Steve Pavlina

Health

True to his commitment to personal experimentation, many of Steve’s major health improvements have been a result of his 30-day trial technique. This is how he proved to himself that his body responded best to vegetarianism. More energy, clearer focus, less sleep required, and other benefits convinced him to adopt it as a lifestyle choice after the 30-day trial period was over.

I am also interested in diet, nutrition and health and have devoured many books on the subject. I wrote a thorough review on one of my favorites. (See previous article, “Finally the Truth About Diet — The China Study Review.“)

The ideas in Steve’s section on health and in “The China Study” are not mainstream. In fact, they are controversial, not because they are so outrageous but because we have drifted so far away from common sense in our dietary choices. Yes, we are the product of insidious social conditioning and are trained to eat, not what is good for us, but what is most profitable for the advertisers to sell. Recognizing this fact is the first step to assuming responsibility for our own health and deliberately choosing what we put in our mouth.

“In order to be healthy today, you must exercise your self-discipline to overcome the drag of social conditioning. Summon the maturity to make intelligent choices for yourself, regardless of what throngs of sick people encourage you to do . . . the truth is that if the average person wouldn’t consider your current health practices extreme, you probably aren’t very healthy.” — Steve Pavlina

Diet and nutrition is a science in its infancy. It’s easy to find conflicting advice from different experts. (That’s one reason why I appreciated “The China Study” so much. It’s not based on any fad diet or conjecture or marketing hype. In fact, it’s based in emperical scientific evidence gathered during the largest nutritional study ever done on planet earth!)

Ultimately, each one of us makes the decision of what we eat. That one seemingly simple decision has a major impact on the level of health and vitality we experience throughout our lifetimes.

“You can delegate control, but never responsibility . . . If I give you any particular advice in this area that doesn’t resonate with you, you should reject it and trust your own judgement instead.” — Steve Pavlina

Relationships

We are all in this together and we are all in this alone. It’s an interesting paradox. Our lives are defined and given shape by the other people in our lives. The people we choose to spend time with influence us in many seen and unseen ways. Especially for those of us interested in personal development, we need to pick our companions carefully and deliberately in order to support our chosen direction of personal growth. (These ideas were explored in previous articles, “Choose the Companionship of Positive People Who Inspire You” and “Life Drama as Blockage to Personal Development.”)

“I’ve learned to place a great deal of trust in my feelings when it comes to relationships. When something feels wrong to me, I know the best thing I can do is to go to the other person and explain that something doesn’t seem right so that we can work together to sort it out. When you bring truth to your relationships, you build closeness and trust.” — Steve Pavlina

Some of our most important life lessons and aha moments come as a result of our relationships, so it makes sense to do our best to communicate well and be considerate of others. A little kindness goes a long way . . .

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting battles too,
Cruel wars within themselves, just like it is with you.
Be kind, because you’ll never know just how much good you’ll do,
A heartfelt word or two can soothe a hidden wound.

“Sometimes the ripples from our deed’s a gentle touch, doesn’t seem to matter much,
It’s like dropping flowers in the Grand Canyon.
And though we’ll never know just what becomes of them, it’s all the same to them,
So drop them anyway, because you can.”
- from the song, “Be Kind” by Tupelo Kenyon

One of the things I appreciate most about Steve’s book is the way he threads the themes of truth, love and power through all the aspects of personal development, including his very insightful look at relationships.

“Exchanges that are lacking in truth, love, or power eventually grow stale, but when all three elements are present, the blocks to deeper levels of connection and closeness are removed . . . What mix of truth, love, and power do you use to connect with others? Realize that your weakest channel will be the source of many of your communication problems . . . When you know your dominant connection strategy, you can use it deliberately to regain your closeness whenever you start feeling a little distant from one another.” — Steve Pavlina

Building close relationships involves an element of risk, but a little courage can make a big difference in the quality of your life. You can’t always expect other people to initiate the contact. Sometimes it’s up to you to extend your hand (and your heart) and invite people in. Imagine what you could miss out on, if you don’t.

“The biggest risks are missing out on laughs you never shared, people you never helped, and the potential partner you sentenced to solitude . . .

“Since all human relationships are impermanent, live with the awareness that every one of your current connections will eventually end. Take the time to appreciate them while they last, and don’t take them for granted. Even when a relationship ends in death, it can still continue in your thoughts. The memories of loving relationships can become your most sacred treasures.” — Steve Pavlina

One of our most popular songs explores this idea. Like love itself, it’s a timeless idea. Those we love go right on living in our hearts, long after they’ve left this world.

“And even though you’re hurting now, the hurting will not last,
The strength you gain from such a pain remains when it’s all past.
And even this will pass away, like this life itself someday,
And all that we take with us is the love we gave away.”
- from the song, “All That We Take with Us” by Tupelo Kenyon

Spirituality

In this section of the book, Steve challenges us to look at our idea of spirituality through the lenses of truth, love and power, rather than the conditioned habits of custom, peer pressure, and heredity. It’s an enlightened approach to spirituality, stripped clean of outdated dogma and exclusive ideas designed to keep us loyal to one particular brand. What passes for spirituality has a history of tearing us apart rather than bringing us together.

I love the way Steve encourages us to consider all things spiritual and take the best of what each has to offer. It assumes the ancient words of Shakespeare were actually true and that we actually care enough to keep an open mind rather than blindly clinging to any one viewpoint . . .”There are more things in heaven and earth than ever dreamed of by your philosophies.”

“Just as your physical senses act as a lens through which you perceive different subsets of reality, your spiritual senses also act as cognitive filtering mechanisms. These filters allow you to focus on bits and pieces of preprocessed information which may or may not be useful to you. The more spiritual sensory data you can access and comprehend, the richer your spiritual life will be, and the more accurately it will model truth . . .

“When we confront the key spiritual question of our lives, such as Who am I? And What is my purpose in life? . . . we can limit our input to a small subset of these channels. In general, when we limit our input too severely, we end up making things harder than necessary, much like trying to prepare a meal while wearing a blindfold and earplugs. This is what happens when we say, ‘I’m only going to consider this single spiritual point of view because it’s the one and only truth’ . . .

“Even though each channel of input has limited expressiveness, if you can access a diverse enough set of channels, each one compressed and filtered in different ways, you can develop a more accurate and complete picture of reality. Each belief system you consider provides another way of viewing the same underlying data, thus helping you develop a better understanding of the whole . . .

“By examining your problems from different philosophical viewpoints, you empower yourself. Holistic solutions finally start to emerge. You gain the ability to solve problems you were previously unable to solve . . . most of us are socially conditioned to overlook the simplicity of across-the-board, high-level solutions because we cling to fixed belief systems that prevent us from seeing the big picture.” — Steve Pavlina

These ideas are close to my heart as I look around the planet and see the result of so many people stubornly clinging to some particular brand of spirituality and refusing to see any merit in any other viewpoint. That’s got to be the manifestation of ultimate insecurity to not even be able to consider the validity of a different idea. (I explored this idea in previous articles, “Beyond the Brands of Truth” and “Beyond Science, Philosophy and Religion.”)

Clear thinking and honest exploration of truth is a refreshing approach to spirituality, and that’s why I appreciate Steve’s style of saying what he thinks and feels, even though it’s not the mainstream viewpoint. Far from it. But, I recognize that the tide is turning as more and more people worldwide are beginning to take responsibility for their own spirituality and making their own choices, rather than settling for being spoon fed by tradition.

“A multispectral philosophy of life — that is, one that combines input from multiple perspectives — aligns closely with what’s considered common sense . . .

“The point of spiritual exploration is to help you make conscious, empowering choices . . .

“Many serious conflicts in the world result from the decision to pass on beliefs that label other human beings as unworthy, damaged, or evil . . .

“Your beliefs are not merely observations of reality; they also shape and define your experience of reality. Many of the thoughts you hold most sacred may reveal hidden falsehoods once you take the opportunity to consider the alternatives.” —Steve Pavlina

Celebrating an Expansive Viewpoint

This empowering book, like all great books, performs magic. It allows us to take a peek inside one of the great minds of our time. As a result, it makes the inside of my head (and heart) feel bigger. What more could you ask for in a book?

These last Steve Pavlina quotes do a fine job of tying it all together . . .

“The ultimate goal of any sound spiritual path is to be infinitely truthful, infinitely loving, and infinitely powerful. By extension, this also requires infinite oneness, infinite authority, and infinite courage . . .

“If it were somehow possible for everyone on earth to come together and agree on a single spiritual philosophy, it would be one that incorporates the universal principles of truth, love, and power. These are the ideals that guide us not only as human beings, but also as spiritual beings . . .

“Invest in creative self-expression, service and contribution, and you will suffer no scarcity. Your greatest gift to the world is to share who you really are . . . No one is served by your refusal to shine.” — Steve Pavlina

Personal Appreciation

Although I don’t personally know Steve and his wife, Erin, they both feel like old friends that Janey and I haven’t yet met. Steve’s writings have been a source of inspiration and encouragement to me for a couple of years. I first went to his website as a result of a link in an email from Derek Sivers, founder of CDbaby.com. Derek was impressed that anyone could graduate from college after only three (very busy) semesters, and recommended an article Steve wrote on how he accomplished that.

I began exploring his other articles and it soon became clear I had found a kindred spirit. His example inspired me to begin writing again, and TupeloKenyon.com was born shortly thereafter. The blog spawned the “Inspired on Purpose” newsletter which provides satisfaction and inspiration for myself as well as others. I have Steve Pavlina to thank for all this.

Thanks Steve, for all you do . . . and all you are.

Sincerely,
Tupelo Kenyon

P.S. Get this book, while it’s in first edition. It’s a classic, and I could only hint at it’s empowering breadth and depth in this (rather long) gushing review.

While reading, did you choose to hear the relaxing instrumental music linked at the beginning of this article? To learn more about it, click here.

Listen FREE to the songs below . . . chosen to enhance the ideas in this article.

Do What You Love Discovering what we have a true passion for, and then figuring out a way to build a life around that passion is one of life’s greatest feelings of accomplishment. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor10 Be Kind Your example and the kindness shown to others can have a rippling affect that goes on and on. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor9 All That We Take With Us Even sorrow brings us gifts of deeper understanding and a clearer perspective of what is really important. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor3 Endless Journey Traveling has so many gifts to give! Spectacular scenery, interesting cultural differences, and the inspiring people you’ll meet. What a well-rounded education is provided by getting away and looking around . . . and, it’s an inspiring education that never has to end. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor8 Songs by Tupelo
The Trouble with TV Does TV enhance our life experience or get in the way of living our lives? Celebrate life with this refreshing perspective on the boob tube. Trade TV Time for Habits of Personal Development You” be glad you did, and once you go through the withdrawal stage, you’ll never look back. Your Passion as Your Compass Allow your passions to stretch their wings and the direction of your life could surprise you – in a good way. Celebrate life with passion! Integrity Through Self-Reliance When you live your life as if the whisperings from your soul really matter, you are living life in your own way, on your own terms, based on your own realizations on what is right . . . what is good . . . and what is true for you. You are tuned into your own station. The signal you are receiving and the message you are broadcasting with the story of your life are both on the same frequency. You are joyfully and gratefully choosing your favorites from the buffet of life. Goal Setting or Let Go and Let God There are two approaches people use to manifest their desires. Some set goals. Others surrender and presume the universe is conspiring to deliver to them their every desire without strain, in its own way and in its own time. Which way is better? Can these two methods be used together? Self-Discipline in 3 Easy Steps Why is it so difficult to follow through and accomplish what you set out to do? Usually, there is one important missing ingredient: personal discipline. For most of us, the idea of discipline is an external force – it’s something that comes from the outside. For instance, we discipline our children. Most of us are familiar with discipline as a verb (something we do to someone else), but we’re not so familiar with the concept as a noun – something we cultivate from within and apply to ourselves. Know Thyself – Ignore Comparisons and Be Yourself The average person is content to base self-knowledge on comparisons to other people. If this is the measure of self-knowledge, it is based on someone else’s standards. This practice misses the point of “Know Thyself.” Instead, it’s all about how to fit in. We are all unique individuals with our own strengths, talents and nudges leading us to embrace our own best life. True knowledge of self is attained from personal insights of looking inwardly rather than outwardly towards others. Persistence and Perseverance for Winners – Losers Just Quit Giving up is easy. Most people make a habit of giving up. In fact, they make a life of it Persistence through a solution-oriented attitude is for visionaries, dreamers and other winners who refuse to take “no” for a final answer. 10 Steps to Discovering Your Life’s Purpose Of all the self-help ideas I’ve come across through the years, this one has been the most helpful. For me, it’s been the Rosetta Stone of personal development techniques. After getting a handle on the idea of “purpose”, other areas of my life fell into place more easily. Finally the Truth About Diet – The China Study Review Finally, here’s an authoritative diet and nutrition book based on hard science and exhaustive research. This revealing book is written by one of the world’s most respected authorities in the field of nutrition. In his own words, he has been “in the system for almost fifty years, at the very highest levels, designing and directing large research projects, deciding which research gets funded and translating massive amounts of scientific data into national expert panel reports.” There is so much useful information in this book, I consider it one of the most important books I have ever read and give it my highest recommendation. Change your diet and change the quality of your life. Choose the Companionship of Positive People Who Inspire You If the people you spend the most time with are inspiring, supportive, encouraging, and they demonstrate qualities you want to emulate – great, you are on the right track. If not, it’s up to you to do something about it. Life is too short to put up with other people’s pity parties, bitch-and-moan marathons, and oh-woe-is-me clubs. Life Drama as Blockage to Personal Development Some people seem to relish drama in their lives. They go from one catastrophe to another. They thrive on it as if drama is what makes them feel alive. You may be able to see that they are attracting these experiences by their daily thoughts and feelings. But, they don’t recognize it from within the narrow confines of their personal drama. To someone immersed in drama, the idea that they are creating it is completely foreign. With intent, practice and mindfulness, what was once considered drama that snowballed out of control becomes simply examples of the contrasts of life to help you sharpen your preferences and shape your desires. Beyond the Brands of Truth Truth depends upon your belief. If you believe something is true, that makes it true . . . true for you. Of course, if you don’t believe that statement, never mind, because your belief defines your truth in another direction. But, we can commit to finding our own personal truth. We can hope our example will inspire others to look inside for their own truth rather than looking outside at the tumultuous world of competing brands of “truth.” Beyond Science, Philosophy and Religion Is truth absolute or relative? Is there anything beyond science, philosophy and religion? Many of the world’s top quantum physicists think there is. Celebrate life by stretching you imagination. Articles by Tupelo

You’ve heard about the “right brain” and the “left brain,” right? The left brain is all about logic and sequential thinking and the right brain is all about the abstract flow of consciousness and how it relates to “the big picture.”

Even though I’ve been aware of these concepts for thirty years or so, they were always a little fuzzy. Interesting, but I never totally grasped the implications until I saw an amazing video.

The video is one of the TED talks. If you haven’t heard of that yet, these are some of the most amazing, interesting and inspiring videos on the internet. They are ideas worth spreading . . . “inspired talks by some of the world’s greatest thinkers and doers.

Sometimes It’s Better to Learn from the Experience of Another

The talk I’m recommending now is from Jill Bolte Taylor, who is a neuroanatomist — a brain scientist. The video is about a rare opportunity few scientists would wish for:

One morning, a blood vessel in Jill Bolte Taylor’s brain exploded. As a brain scientist, she realized she had a ringside seat to her own stroke. She watched as her brain functions shut down one by one: motion, speech, memory, self-awareness . . .

Amazed to find herself alive, Taylor spent eight years recovering her ability to think, walk and talk. She has become a spokesperson for stroke recovery and for the possibility of coming back from brain injury stronger than before. In her case, although the stroke damaged the left side of her brain, her recovery unleashed a torrent of creative energy from her right. From her home base in Indiana, she now travels the country on behalf of the Harvard Brain Bank as the “Singin’ Scientist.”

“How many brain scientists have been able to study the brain from the inside out? I’ve gotten as much out of this experience of losing my left mind as I have in my entire academic career.” – Jill Bolte Taylor

See It . . . Hear It . . . Feel It!

This video will makes a powerful impression. Have you ever seen an actual brain with the two hemispheres clearly separate from one another? On this video, you will.

Have you ever heard a description about watching from a peaceful, detached viewpoint as the cognitive brain functions slowly quit functioning? Have you ever heard anyone talk about what it feels like when the inner chatter finally quits and all that’s left is awareness? On this video, you will.

Prepare to be amazed, moved, inspired and thrilled with this intelligent look at something that is rarely seen . . . and the fact that you’re hearing about all this from a brain scientist makes it even more fascinating.

Tissues Optional

Oh yeah, the end may tug at your heart strings a bit. Some of us may want to have a box of Kleenex handy.

This will probably be the most inspiring 12 minutes of your day. (It could easily be the most inspiring 12 minutes of your year!)

Here’s the link . . .

http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229

While reading, did you choose to hear the relaxing instrumental music linked at the beginning of this article? To learn more about it, click here.

Listen FREE to the songs below . . . chosen to enhance the ideas in this article.

Miracle in Disguise Synchronicity is such a positive and hopeful idea, it begs the question, "Why not actively look for it and even expect it, as long as it feels good?" http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor11 Who is the Watcher Explores the silent witness within and the idea that life occurs in this present moment. Always. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor-14 Songs by Tupelo
Beyond Science, Philosophy and Religion Is truth absolute or relative? Is there anything beyond science, philosophy and religion? Many of the world’s top quantum physicists think there is. Celebrate life by stretching you imagination. Ego or Soul? Who’s Driving Even though I identify my sense of self with soul, there seems to be another “something” inside forever jockeying for position and making its presence known. This is the ego. What’s the difference? How can you know which one is in charge? What are their characteristics? Since I prefer peace to mayhem and contentment to perpetual, blind striving, my goal is to keep soul in the driver’s seat as often as possible. Instead of an either/or situation, I like the idea of soul and ego peacefully coexisting in a manner that best serves the greater good. Appreciate Here and Now No matter what’s going on in your life right now, there’s something to appreciate about it. The act of appreciation rivets our consciousness to this present moment. With our attention focused on the here and now, we are living life fully, since right now is the only time there ever is. Get a Broader Perspective – Do It Different and Work Smarter When I think of the view from our broader perspective, to me, it means the viewpoint of our inner self . . . who we really are. Without the filters of our ego, the world looks quite different. The problem is . . . this lofty viewpoint seems illusive. People occasionally identify with broader perspective with no apparent effort or intent, but it’s rare to arrive at such a viewpoint accidentally. More commonly, brief glimpses are caught deliberately by intent, and repeated by personal discipline and the use of clever techniques. Articles by Tupelo

]]> http://www.tupelokenyon.com/2008/05/16/inspiration-from-a-stroke-of-insight-by-jill-bolte-taylor/feed/ 1 http://www.tupelokenyon.com/2008/02/24/make-a-decision-easier/ http://www.tupelokenyon.com/2008/02/24/make-a-decision-easier/#comments Mon, 25 Feb 2008 04:19:40 +0000 Tupelo http://www.tupelokenyon.com/2008/02/24/make-a-decision-easier/ For instrumental music while reading, choose: hi-fi (broadband) or low-fi.

Do you hem and haw over the details of a decision so long that the actual decision is perpetually delayed? Do you get bogged down in the minutia and lose sight of the big picture?

Decisions needn’t be a chore. In fact, it’s a profound privilege to be able to make decisions for yourself. Consider the alternative.

Would you rather have someone else make your decisions for you? The ability to make your own decisions is a good definition of freedom.

Once you remind yourself how valuable your freedom is, it’s easy to see the decision making process from a broader perspective. Instead of laboring over the process and wearing yourself out, it makes sense to think about the act of decision making deliberately to make the process more effective, more fun, and more in alignment with your best interests.

Procrastination is a Decision Too

Life is a string of decisions — from little ones like what to have for lunch . . . to big ones like what career to pursue. Anytime you put off making a decision, that is a decision also. When you consider anything, you can decide yes, decide no, or decide to decide “later.”

There’s a fine line between being thorough in collecting all the facts before you make a decision and procrastinating. When you are thorough and make the decision in its own time, without feeling rushed, you feel good because you did your due diligence and have confidence that your decision is the right one based on the current information available.

If you procrastinate over making a decision, you diminish your personal power and erode your self-confidence. Avoiding your decisions makes you doubt your ability to chart the course of your own life. Instead you are pushed this way and that, and your life goes in the direction of any wind that happens to blow.

“It is in your moments of decision that your life is shaped. Develop your decision-making muscles.” – Tony Robbins

It’s better to evaluate the facts at hand and make a decision soon and move on to the next one. If you have developed the habit of putting off making a decision, maybe it’s because you are afraid you will make the wrong one. Realize that decisions don’t have to be forever. When new information presents itself, a new, improved and better informed decision can be made. Even if your new decision is a 180 degree about-face from the direction of a previous choice, that’s okay.

Remember that you are in control of your destiny by the thoughts you think and the choices you make. You are exercising your freedom and your individuality by making your own decisions. Nobody else can do it as well as you. You are the one with the most relevant information, the most to gain and the most to lose if you don’t make your own choices. Course corrections are common and inevitable as new experience is gained.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” – Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)

Zero In on Your Target by On-Going Course Corrections

If you are somewhere in the middle of the country – Oklahoma City for instance, and decide you want to live closer to the ocean, you may choose to drive to Los Angeles. You head in a westerly direction, but your entire trip is a series of small course corrections. You don’t point the car due west and then weld the steering wheel in a stationary position. Instead, you turn the wheel a little to the left. Then you straighten out. You turn the wheel a little to the right. You keep adjusting, sometimes a little and sometimes a lot, on a moment-to-moment basis, as needed, until you reach your destination.

When you finally reach Los Angeles, you may love it and celebrate your decision to come, or you may notice another decision would serve you better, based on the new information gathered along the journey. You may realize the smog is worse than you imagined, and the traffic is too heavy to tolerate. You may wonder if somewhere on the east coast might be better.

So, you make a new decision and chart a new course for Savannah, Georgia. You head in an easterly direction. Again, you make the necessary course corrections as you drive from L.A. to Savannah. Once you arrive, you notice the smog is not such an issue, the traffic is more tolerable, and you enjoy the sunrises over the ocean since you are a morning person. Your moment-to-moment course corrections may take you to a small village a few miles from the big city and you may notice you like that best.

You have learned much through the process of your decisions and you have exercised your freedom to choose the best life for you. If you would have frozen up and avoided making decisions instead, you would never know what your true preferences were. You may have never even imagined your affinity for the sleepy little fishing village on the east coast. You’d still be stuck somewhere in the middle — Oklahoma City, daydreaming about L.A.

Use Your Imagination

The imagination is a powerful tool to help fine-tune the decision making process. Put it to work for you by envisioning possible outcomes for each choice. Play it out in your mind first, and then pay attention to how you feel. Your feelings will provide honest feedback.

If you consider the “yes” decision in your mind’s eye and play out the ramifications in your imagination, how does it feel? Now consider the “no” decision and imagine where it might lead. How does that feel?

Don’t Bog Down in the Shades of Gray

There are only two emotions you need to be concerned about, regardless of all the different names of the shades of gray. One emotion feels good and one feels bad. That’s all you need to know to help you make a decision.

When an imagined decision stirs good feelings within you, that’s your emotional guidance system telling you this direction is in sync with your deepest desires and your current awareness of who you really are. If the imagined decision stirs bad feelings, that’s a strong clue that this direction is in conflict with your deepest self. This play-acting alerts you to the fact that this imagined course is in opposition to the direction that your innate wisdom knows to best serve your highest good.

Personal Insight Gleaned from One of Life’s Toughest Decisions

A dear friend was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Suddenly she was bombarded on all sides with conflicting information from the internet and well-meaning family and friends. It was all too much to sort out in order to make an intelligent, informed decision. She needed to make the decision of whether to have a mastectomy or a tricky double lumpectomy.

When she looked beyond the mental realm and began to pay attention to her feelings, she realized that whenever she imagined having a mastectomy, she got depressed — that felt bad. Whenever she imagined having a lumpectomy, that felt better. Compared to the alternative, imagining the double lumpectomy actually felt good. Her internal guidance system was sending her the nudge she needed when she realized that her emotions were providing an important conduit for information along with all the mental data she was learning. The procedure was a success and she is a survivor.

Recently, another friend asked for any insight she might be able to offer someone recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She agreed to allow me to publish her reply as part of this article:

Thank you for thinking of me with this question because I would love to help if I can.

I too had a lumpectomy (double) on the left side. The doctors pushed for chemo, but since my lymph nodes were clear, I opted not to do it. My cancer was classed Stage 2 because of the combined size of the two tumors. It barely eeked over the classification, so I decided to consider it Stage 1 and be very optimistic.

I did decide to do radiation, however. Thinking back, I don’t know why I did, but for some reason, I felt this was a safer alternative to chemo and not so damaging. I didn’t consider the effect it would have on my lungs and heart. This never occurred to me. I did do extensive research, however, and decided to go through with it.

I took a long time to decide what to do. It was 6 weeks before I had the lumpectomy. (By the way, it took me many phone calls to find a surgeon who was comfortable with doing a double lumpectomy instead of a mastectomy.) He agreed with me. Why not go the least invasive way, and if need be, we could go with a mastectomy later. I am SO grateful I found him. He was wonderful. So far, so good. It’s been over 3 years and there hasn’t been a problem. I believe the cancer experience is behind me.

Two months after the lumpectomy, I had 6 weeks of radiation. I had few side effects with the radiation. The main one being a tremendous dip in energy. I wasn’t used to this state of draggin’ butt, and it took its toll on me mentally and emotionally. I finally had to slow down and let my body rebuild. I had wonderful care during this entire time from the radiation team, doctor, nurses, and my wonderful husband. The doctor is still the one I go to for my once a year check up.

In considering what to do, this is the best advice I can give your friend:

Dear friend I don’t know,

Don’t rush into anything until you are ready. You have time. Give yourself the opportunity to come to the right decision FOR YOU. You will get tremendous pressure for different procedures and medications and therapies from the doctors (this is their business, after all), well meaning friends and family. Find out for yourself what feels right for you – and then stick with it. The only way you can do this is to be confident in your decision.

With my 20/20 hindsight, I learned a very important lesson through it all – one that still helps me to this day. When outside forces tried to convince me of chemo and/or a mastectomy, my spirit plummeted. I cried and cried. Then the surgeon would step in and say it was okay for me to have just the lumpectomy if I wanted. I was elated. Then a well meaning friend of a friend called to tell me her horror story and that I would be crazy to not have a mastectomy. I cried some more and indecision crept in. When I actually got my first physical with the surgeon the day before surgery, he was reassuring again. I told him of my concerns. He just said to tell him what it was going to be – a lumpectomy or a mastectomy – before he starts to cut!

This is what was happening. My inner core – my true self – had a hard time guiding me through all of these decisions because I was getting so many different opinions. It was very confusing. (I’m sure you know exactly what I mean.) So, the only way my higher self could communicate with me was through my emotions. I felt good when I considered having only a lumpectomy. I felt horrible when I thought I had to have a mastectomy. Simple. My emotions were guiding me, telling me what to do.

So, the big question is: How do you FEEL whenever you consider having radiation? I felt it was right for me. Don’t know how I knew this – I just did. No one was pushing for it, either, because the treatments took place in a town 150 miles from the surgery. My husband and I did all the arrangements. Perhaps it is because I didn’t want to do chemo, I thought that this would be just one more active thing I could do to make sure it was behind me.

I also cleaned up my eating habits. If you are interested, check out the book “The China Study”. A cliff notes version is on Tupelo’s website: TupeloKenyon.com. Here’s the direct link: “Finally the Truth About Diet — The China Study Review.” This will give you an good overview.

I truly wish you the very best in whatever you decide to do. There are no wrong choices. Breast cancer is no longer the scary diagnosis it once was. The survival rate is phenomenal and encouraging. Sometimes big events come along to give us a giant push along our spiritual path. We might stumble at first, but then we catch our stride. I am grateful for the experience. I’m a better person because of it. My life is enhanced because of it. What more could I ask for?

Sending love and encouragement that you listen to your inner guide,
Your new friend you haven’t met yet.

Being Receptive is the Key to Hearing What is Offered

The information is available from our inner guidance whenever we become still and pay attention. Sometimes this inner guidance is blatant and conclusive, like a two by four over the head. Other times, it’s more like a soft whisper offered gently — not forced. Either way, we must be receptive and listening for these clues or we could easily miss them altogether. (See previous article, “How Do You Feel — About Inner Guidance.”)

“Again and again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made.” – Dr. Robert H. Schuller (b. 1926)

Regret or Relief

In the decision making process, imagine a “yes” decision. Put yourself into the picture as clearly as possible. Imagine the details and ramifications, and then notice if you are feeling regret or relief.

Now imagine a “no” decision. Do the same detailed mental mock-up in your imagination and notice if it feels more like regret or relief. This simple question of regret or relief helps you to focus on what you really feel about the decision you are considering at your deepest level.

Let it Go or Embrace It?

A friend recently called, looking for a sounding board for a personal dilemma. She was having trouble making up her mind. A couple of years ago, she bought an expensive guitar and was excited to learn how to play it. Her husband was supportive and helped make it possible.

Recently she noticed the guitar was not “pulling” her to play. The excitement had waned. Instead she felt like it was something she “should” be doing since she had so much invested in it.

Someone asked if she might be interested in selling it. Her first thought was “absolutely not.” The guitar represented her relationship with her artistic side. It was something she had chosen to do for herself, simply because the expression of creativity felt good. But after a few days of hashing it over, she began to think about selling it. After all, she seldom used it. Was she turning her back on her creativity by considering letting the guitar go?

Here are some of the insights that came to light in our conversation: The guitar was only her temporary representation of her creativity. It was not her actual creativity. That was inside her, and her artistic expression could manifest in any number of ways. For instance: writing, sculpture, quilting, photography and more. All of these things brought her satisfaction and joy. She realized she has many talents and many choices.

The guitar was like a trip to L.A. She had to get all the way to the west coast before she realized she might like the east coast better. No problem. Just turn around and keep driving, while continuing to make course corrections until it feels better.

We talked about the technique of looking for regret or relief while imagining her decision. She realized that selling the guitar would likely feel more like a relief. Every time she saw the guitar, it reminded her of what she wasn’t doing, and what she felt like she ought to be doing. She had been beating herself up about not playing the guitar because it took effort and money to get such a nice guitar, and she felt like she “should” be using it more. She was also concerned because her husband had helped her make it possible and she didn’t want to let him down. (This turned out to be wasted energy because he was not concerned about letting the guitar go. He wanted her to feel good and would be supportive in her next creative direction, whatever it turned out to be.)

So instead of being inspired and joyous about making music, the guitar had begun to represent yet another thing in her life to add to her already long list of “shoulds.” This didn’t feel like art, and it didn’t feel like creativity or joy.

She realized that whatever regret she might feel about letting the guitar go would be far outweighed by the relief of releasing the “should.” She recognized that the money could be reappropriated into some other tool that more easily allowed her creative expression to shine through.

So the guitar gets a new owner and our friend gets to lose her sense of guilt for not playing the guitar. She also gets to enjoy the process of re-choosing a new avenue for creativity and personal expression — one that jazzes her now.

“Ever notice that “what the hell” is always the right decision?” – Marilyn Monroe (1926-62)

Decisions Don’t Have to Be Forever

Decisions can be fun. They don’t have to be hard work. It’s not complicated — it’s not brain surgery. It’s a process fine-tuned by daily practice.

Even when we make a decision that works against us (and we all do), we still benefit by learning something valuable. When the result of a certain decision obviously is not serving us, we fix it by making another decision that puts us back on track. It’s okay to change our mind. By trial and error, we learn to pay closer attention to our internal guidance system, and as a result, we get better at making decisions that feel good.

“Making a wrong decision is understandable. Refusing to search continually for learning is not.” – Philip (Bayard) Crosby (b. 1926)

We appreciate our freedom of choice and dive into decisions willingly, even though we know some choices will need to be adjusted later. That’s okay, it’s all part of the process of learning how to steer our own ship.

We are in control of the life we live by the choices we make. As we continue to practice making choices that feel good, we continue to get in closer alignment with our deepest inner self. We notice our inner guidance system helps us steer our choices towards those that feel best for us. As a fascinating result, those are the choices that seem to benefit others the most as well. Choose to feel good — it’s a win/win situation.

While reading, did you choose to hear the relaxing instrumental music linked at the beginning of this article? To learn more about it, click here.

Listen FREE to the song samples below . . . chosen to enhance the ideas in this article.

Trash Our Treasures People seem to have a history of awarding seemingly insignificant details with places of prominence in our lives, while ignoring or even destroying the most important aspects. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor2 Flying in the Sea Born at Coco View Scuba Diving Resort in Roatan Honduras, this song celebrates the wonders of the sea. Imagine the joy and freedom felt by dolphins and whales frolicking in the waves. We caught a glimpse of that feeling while scuba diving . . . and love it! http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor5 I’m Goin’ Fishin‘ The zen of fly-fishing has always worked wonders for me to recharge and regenerate. This is a tribute to my grand-fater, who gave me a wonderful gift that has kept on giving for a lifetime. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor13 Seriously A reminder of the importance of making it a point to deliberately live life in joy, reverance, and with a light-hearted spirit. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor15 Hand in Hand and Heart to Heart "You and I drew a good lot in life." We never take it for granted, but continually re-create it on a daily basis looking forward with imagination and gratitude. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor16 A Heartbeat in Eternity’s Highway In the grand scheme of things, what’s the difference between a single moment and all of eternity? What’s the point of reference? http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor17 The Road Even the closest of friends often find themselves on totally opposite life paths, but that’s O.K. Regardless of the outer experience, the inner connection between special friends remains strong through the years. This song is a tribute to that special bond. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHere.html#Anchor1 Time of Our Lives Time is so fleeting, so elusive, it’s good to remember the importance and power of living right now. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHere.html#Anchor7 Takin’ My Time It’s easy to simply give away so much of your time that there’s none left for you. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHere.html#Anchor15 Celebrate Life Create your own personal celebration of life by your choices, rather than allowing life to be something that merely happens to you, or around you. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor2 Lovin’ Gold Having someone to share the details of your life with is bound to be one of the very best definitions of living a wealthy life. Someone to love, dream and grow with through the years is a wonderful way to feel rich, complete with the potential for compounding interest over a lifetime. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor5 Do What You Love Discovering what we have a true passion for, and then figuring out a way to build a life around that passion is one of life’s greatest feelings of accomplishment. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor10 Go Slow Experiencing the pace of life in a different culture helps to illustrate just how frantic the western pace really is. Faster doesn’t necessarily mean more or better. What’s the big hurry? Go slow. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescAnth.html#Anchor3 You Gotta Have Fun Our moments are fleeting . . . and finite. Too few to squander on "bad news". We must steer our attention deliberately in order to attract the kind of life we were born to live. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescAnth.html#Anchor20 Songs by Tupelo
	Take Time for You Don’t put yourself at the end of the list. You deserve to be first, at least some of the time. Don’t let your entire life slip by with everything else (and everyone else) getting preferential treatment over your most important priorities. Their needs are important, but yours are important too. Celebrate life by taking time for YOU! The Trouble with TV Does TV enhance our life experience or get in the way of living our lives? Celebrate life with this refreshing perspective on the boob tube. Being Present through Sensuality The idea is to occasionally turn off the senses in order to better tune into the aliveness that lies beyond them. The realization that there is something beyond the world of the five senses can provide an “aha” experience, especially at first. With the senses turned off (or even turned down), there remains a vibrant sense of aliveness – the world of feeling and the realm of being. The Dilemma of Desire What is desire? Where does it come from? Why do we have it? Does it serve us in a positive way, or does it distract us and keep us perpetually in discontent? This article sheds some light on these important questions so that each of us can find our own answers. Balancing Desire with Contentment It’s a fine line we walk between wanting more and feeling satisfied with what we have. Desire is unavoidable – it comes with the territory. So, the trick is to find the balance. There’s a middle ground to be found where deep feelings of contentment and satisfaction are spiced with the delicious excitement of something more on the horizon. Action and Satisfaction A satisfying life includes time for doing balanced by time for being , embracing and celebrating all aspects of life. Being, doing, having . . . all these things are important ingredients of our package of life experience. Denying any aspect of it only serves to diminish our joy of living a full, inspired, and satisfying life. Goal Setting or Let Go and Let God There are two approaches people use to manifest their desires. Some set goals. Others surrender and presume the universe is conspiring to deliver to them their every desire without strain, in its own way and in its own time. Which way is better? Can these two methods be used together? Articles by Tupelo

]]> http://www.tupelokenyon.com/2008/02/24/make-a-decision-easier/feed/ 13 http://www.tupelokenyon.com/2007/11/02/persistence-and-perseverance-for-winners-%e2%80%93-losers-just-quit/ http://www.tupelokenyon.com/2007/11/02/persistence-and-perseverance-for-winners-%e2%80%93-losers-just-quit/#comments Fri, 02 Nov 2007 12:00:17 +0000 Tupelo http://www.tupelokenyon.com/2007/11/02/persistence-and-perseverance-for-winners-%e2%80%93-losers-just-quit/ For instrumental music while reading, choose: hi-fi (broadband) or low-fi.

Giving up is easy. Most people make a habit of giving up. In fact, they make a life of it.

Achievers approach problems and setbacks with an entirely different attitude. When adversity strikes, they look for work-arounds and adapt their procedures. As a result, they may find better ways of proceeding toward their dreams that they may have never discovered otherwise.

Instead of reasons to quit, winners see apparent road-blocks as opportunities to fine-tune their methods in order to continue re-inventing their approach to make it the best it can be in any given moment. Quitting is for losers. Persistence through a solution-oriented attitude is for visionaries, dreamers and other winners who refuse to take “no” for a final answer.

“‘No’ is a word on your path to ‘Yes.’ Don’t give up too soon. Not even if well-meaning parents, friends, and colleagues tell you to get ‘a real job.’ Your dreams are your real job.” — Joyce Spizer

“I’m spreadin’ my wings, and I’m learnin’ how to fly,
Let me do it my way . . . no need to justify.
Don’t tell me no, no don’t tell me no,
You might as well hand me an engraved invitation,
Don’t tell me no.”
- from the song, “Don’t Tell Me No” by Janey Kenyon, Jeannie Robertson, JoAnn Molloy

Quitting is Not a Reasonable Option

When a problem come up, the average person sees it as yet another reason to quit. Giving up rarely occurs to someone who is engaged in activities in sync with their passions. When your daily activities feel in alignment with your sense of purpose, persistence is not a difficult inconvenience — it’s a way of life. (See previous articles: “Your Passion as Your Compass” and “Work — Just a Job or Visible Love.”)

Thomas Edison is a good example of someone passionate about his work with a clear sense of purpose. There’s a good story that illustrates his perseverance: A reporter once asked him if he ever got discouraged after working so long and hard with no results while trying to invent the light bulb. He said:

“Results? Young man, I have gotten lots of results! If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed. I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is often a step forward.” — Thomas Edison (1847-1931)

The rest of the story is that he kept at it, and never gave up. As a result, at this very moment, you and I are likely both benefiting from Edison’s solution-oriented attitude. How many light bulbs light your life every single day? It’s a good reminder how much we all benefit from this “never give up” attitude, even when practiced by someone who died before we were born.

“Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” — Thomas Edison (1847-1931)

“It matters if you just don’t give up.” – Stephen Hawking (b. 1942)

“Genius is perseverance in disguise.” – Mike Newlin

Commitment Equals Quality of Life

To me, the idea of persistence, determination and perseverance are all about the quality of life. In our own personal experience, Janey and I see the positive results of this solution-oriented attitude on a daily basis. We have lived our entire lives in the arts. She was a dance major in college. I studied math, then music. We were always the stubborn ones, following our muses, dedicated to living the life of our dreams, no matter what.

Janey is a writer and a stained-glass artist, as well as (like me) a singer, musician, entertainer and recording artist. We have both made our living (and our lives) playing music for over 30 years.

Has it been easy? Well, no — all those jokes about starving artists are grounded in typical experience. We chose the independent route and realize it was the best decision for us. We don’t care about fame — it looks like a serious inconvenience. What we do care about is independence and personal freedom. These things are the cornerstones upon which we have built our life together. And, we are willing to work long and hard in order to continue experiencing the joy and satisfaction we feel from this kind of lifestyle. I’ve heard people say how “lucky” we are to live such a wonderful life. I always smile and think to myself: “Yeah, and the harder we work, the luckier we get.”

“When you are self employed, you only have to work half-days. (And you can choose which twelve hours that is.) — Jim Guhlke

Just Because Someone Else Has a Problem, Don’t Adopt It as Your Own

Every job or business has its own unique problems that seem to come with the territory. In our music career, whenever some concert promoter is a jerk and showers us with his bad attitude, we remind ourselves it’s his problem. It may inconvenience us in the short term, but it has little impact on the overall quality of our lives. Unlike us, his personal life choices were likely not based on passion and purpose, and he likely doesn’t benefit from the freedom and independence we enjoy daily.

Is that our fault? No. Are we going to allow ourselves to be an effect of his negativity? Momentarily, maybe — until we catch on and remind ourselves that our chosen life of happiness and satisfaction goes on, in spite of him. Are we going to give up on our dreams and quit our rewarding lifestyle because of some faulty-wired, loose-lipped jerk? Nope.

“Take control of your destiny. Believe in yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits. Don’t give up and don’t give in.” – Wanda Carter

We All Have Problems — So What? What’s Next?

From the outside, looking in, a life built on music and art looks idyllic and romantic. It is, but the roadblocks, complications and set-backs are significant — likely as intense as in any other form of human endeavor. Still, we have always looked over, around and through whatever obstacle reared its ugly head and kept our focus on the solution.

“Follow your bliss.” — Joseph Campbell (1904-1987)

There’s a rare satisfaction from doing what you love, and if you dedicate your life to that, it becomes second nature to find solutions rather than to collect excuses to quit. The solutions are there to be found, but they will only show up if you are receptive and deliberately looking for them. (See previous article, “10 Steps to Discovering Your Life’s Purpose.”)

“And no one but you can find the answer to your quest,
Your answer’s for you and not all the rest.
(You know your answer’s the best, it’s not a contest.)
The question is easy enough, and any honest answer is good enough,
You really gotta know . . . . . what do you love?

What do you love, do what you love,
Do what you love, Oh, do what you love.”
- from the song, “Do What You Love” by Tupelo Kenyon

Don’t Allow Persistence to Morph into Stubbornness

If you are truly passionate about your dreams and feel like your chosen activities are “on-purpose,” you’ll probably never have to be concerned about the difference between persistence and stubbornness. If you’ve taken the time to ask the big questions and listen patiently until your feelings convince you that you are getting a clear answer, your resolve is based on passion and purpose rather than a selfish, ego-based stubbornness. Still, it’s a good idea to check in with your emotional guidance system regularly to make sure you’re still on the right track and not deluding yourself. (See previous article: “How Do You Feel – About Inner Guidance.”)

“Perseverance alone does not assure success. No amount of stalking will lead to game in a field that has none.” – I Ching (BC 1150)

Persistence Reveals Personal Depth

Even when you are committed to your dreams, living your life on purpose and doing what you love, you will still have trials and tribulations. Things come up you never could have foreseen. You can’t prepare for everything — that’s why a positive attitude is so important. The choices are endless. The potential is staggering.

“Now it’s happening every moment, far too big to see,
It’s all too much to do it all, so passion is the key.
It’s a question of perspective, alive to pick and choose,
It’s where we aim our focus that brings it all into view.

It’s just the way of the world . . . It’s just the way of the world,
It’s really nothing personal . . . It’s just the way of the world.
- from the song, “Way of the World” by Tupelo Kenyon

Deliberately Shift Your Attention to Solutions

Recognize the problem, understand the implications to the best of your ability, and then immediately change your focus. Take your attention off the problem itself and deliberately aim your mental power in the opposite direction. Shift your attention 180 degrees toward possible solutions.

Most people don’t do this. Instead, they get stuck staring in the direction of the problem, as if staring it down will somehow make it disappear. Of course, just the opposite is true — whatever you give your attention to grows in your experience. Even if you are shouting “NO” to something you do not want, the Law of Attraction brings even more of it into your experience. (See previous article: “The Law of Attraction.”)

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.” – Walter Elliott

Opportunities for Personal Growth

The interesting thing is, by shifting the focus of your attention away from the problem and toward solutions, dormant skills and talents are activated that you may not even know you had. The problem gives you a reason to reach into that infinite well of resources usually dormant deep inside. As a result, you may learn new skills, and develop new mental disciplines that you may have otherwise overlooked.

“Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” – Richard Bach (b. 1936)

Mine the Depths

There’s a story of two brothers caught up in the gold fever of the California gold rush. They were among the few who arrived early enough to be able to secure a productive claim. Almost immediately, they struck gold. Not a lot of gold, but enough to get them serious about mining. They got tooled up, hired some help and went to work.

Then, as quickly as their discovery appeared, it disappeared. The gold vein simply fizzled out. They were disappointed and decided to just give up. They quit gold mining, sold their claim cheap and went back east.

The new owner of the claim looked at the problem and immediately started looking for solutions. He decided to hire an engineer and a geologist to evaluate the situation. They recommended to keep digging at exactly the same spot — just a little deeper. After just three feet, they struck the mother lode and became multi-millionaires.

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” – Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-96)

Rejection? No thanks, I’ll Pass. Next.

My wife, Janey, spent the last three years writing a novel — a really good novel. Like most new novelists, she soon had collected a stack of rejection notices from literary agents. Every time she received another rejection, her attitude was, “Okay, you’re not the one. I’m looking for the perfect agent, the one who ‘gets’ it. That’s obviously not you, so get out of my way!” She simply rejected rejection and kept scouring the “Writer’s Market” book and the internet, looking for the perfect agent. She knew all along that such a person existed and it was up to her to find the agent who was also looking for her.

Janey continued submitting query letters and continued ignoring the rejection letters — refusing to take it personally. Today (yes TODAY!) she had a nice, long talk with her new New York agent, who definitely “gets it” and is as excited as we are about the future potential of Janey’s excellent novel. (So, one of these days when you walk into Barnes and Noble’s bookstore and see a mountain of Janey’s books or see the major motion picture based on Janey’s book, you will know that it’s there because Janey kept her eye on the prize and never gave up.)

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” — U.S. President Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933)

They Never Gave Up

Walt Disney had a dream of creating “The Happiest Place on Earth.” One of his major obstacles of such a grand idea was funding. He was turned down 302 times before he got a “yes.” As a result of his vision, his commitment to his dream, and his dedication to his feeling of purpose, Disneyland was born. Just imagine all the happiness it has created for all those kids (and adults) for so many decades!

“Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope. Don’t sell out.” – Christopher Reeve (American actor/performer/advocate for the disabled and spinal research. Star of “Super Man”)

In his seventies, Harland Sanders spent two years driving all over the U.S., trying to find resturaunts to buy his recipes. He was turned down 1009 times. But, he never gave up. Today, everyone has heard of Colonel Sanders, and his finger-licking-good Kentucky fried chicken is a household word worldwide.

“Failure is only postponed success as long as courage coaches ambition. The habit of persistence is the habit of victory.” – Herbert Kaufman

In 1998, Google co-founders, Larry Page and Sergey Brin offered a merger to Yahoo for minimal stock options. Yahoo didn’t take these two college kids seriously and promptly declined. Sergey and Larry persevered. They overcame the obstacles, they dug a little deeper, they developed new skills, new ideas, and new technologies that eventually revolutionized many aspects of the internet that we benefit from every single day. They could have become discouraged at Yahoo’s unflattering reaction to their proposal, and simply quit. Instead, within five years, their persistence grew Google into a world-class corporation.

Google’s shares have now topped the $500 each mark. This makes the company valuation somewhere in the region of around $154 billion. To put this into perspective, Yahoo is valued around the $34 billion mark. This puts Google just behind Microsoft and Cisco in terms of high-tech companies.

“Few things are impossible to diligence and skill – Great works are performed, not by strength, but perseverance.” – Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-84)

Have you heard of Oliver Twiddledee? Have you heard of the incredible life he created, the millions of lives he touched, and all the money he made? Of course you haven’t because, sadly, Oliver got discouraged by focusing on his problems. He gave up and quit. Pity.

Oliver Twiddledee is not an inspiration — not a role model. Nobody cares about him. He helped nobody and went on to live out his life in quiet desperation and regret — a life of broken dreams with a shattered self-image.

“I promise to keep on living as though I expected to live forever. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up wrinkles the soul.” – Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)

Instead of focusing any more attention on pitiful Mr. Twiddledee, let’s celebrate the lives and inspiration we get from Thomas Edison, Walt Disney and those two “stubborn” college kids who dreamed up Google. Let’s celebrate and then emulate the lives of the winners who chose to do what they love, dedicated their lives to their passions and never gave up on their dreams.

“Oh, you weak, beautiful people who give up with such grace. What you need is someone to take hold of you — gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.” – Tennessee Williams (1911-83)

While reading, did you choose to hear the relaxing instrumental music linked at the beginning of this article? To learn more about it, click here.

Listen FREE to the songs below . . . chosen to enhance the ideas in this article.

	Do What You Love Discovering what we have a true passion for, and then figuring out a way to build a life around that passion is one of life’s greatest feelings of accomplishment. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor10 Way of the World Life is so huge . . . so diverse . . . the possibilities are literally infinite. What’s the best way to sort it all out and carve out a little niche of our own? http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor1 Don’t Tell Me No Just don’t do it. It’s better that way . . . for both of us! http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor3 Time of Our Lives Time is so fleeting, so elusive, it’s good to remember the importance and power of living right now. http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHere.html#Anchor7 Songs by Tupelo
Your Passion as Your Compass Allow your passions to stretch their wings and the direction of your life could surprise you – in a good way. Celebrate life with passion! Work – Just a Job or Visible Love Do you love what you do and do what you love? Here’s a step-by-step method on how to put your passions to work and start living the life you were born to live. 10 Steps to Discovering Your Life’s Purpose Of all the self-help ideas I’ve come across through the years, this one has been the most helpful. For me, it’s been the Rosetta Stone of personal development techniques. After getting a handle on the idea of “purpose”, other areas of my life fell into place more easily. How Do You Feel About Inner Guidance? Is it a hunch? Is it a voice in your head? Is it something you feel? Don’t confuse what you feel with who you are. Once you are able to access this awareness of pure being and identify yourself with it, you won’t get carried away by whatever emotional cloud happens to be passing by. Celebrate life through one of the more subtle forms of communication available to us – inner guidance. The Law of Attraction With anything as important as the law of attraction, it’s a good idea to hear it described many times from many different angles. This article looks at it from several viewpoints as well as revealing how to get the understanding of the law of attraction from the prime source. Many links are provided including links to streaming mp3 songs that incorporate the principles of attraction in the lyrics. Celebrate life with an ever-clearer grasp of how the law of attraction determines your life experience. Articles by Tupelo