TupeloKenyon.com

Personal Development for Smart People by Steve Pavlina Book Review

Tupelo — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 05:33:24 +0000

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Occasionally an original thinker comes along, and everyone benefits. Steve Pavlina is such a person and his new book is destined to become a classic. It’s called “Personal Development for Smart People: The Conscious Pursuit of Personal Growth.”

What I appreciate most about Steve’s style is that he has a fresh perspective. He’s obviously very intelligent (he earned a Bachelor’s degree in 3 semesters), but beyond his keen intellect is a well-balanced student of expanding consciousness. Yes he has a big brain, but his heart is equally well developed. Most personal growth experts are either brainiacs or love gurus. Steve has pioneered a refreshing blend of head and heart based on common sense and direct experience. This is a rare quality.

“My greatest breakthroughs usually come from personal experimentation…” – Steve Pavlina

His refreshing approach is obvious at the beginning of the book where he outlines how the book was born and how it is organized. (And yes, it is very organized!)

“It took me almost two and a half years, but I eventually found the solution I was looking for. It consists of just three core principles: truth, love and power. Four secondary principles are directly derived from the first three: oneness, authority, courage and intelligence. Oneness is truth plus love. Authority is truth plus power. Courage is love plus power. And intelligence is the total combination of truth, love and power . . . these principles are universal; they cannot be successfully compartmentalized without sacrificing something far more important – our true nature as conscious beings.” – Steve Pavlina

The book is organized around these fundamental principles. Personal anecdotes from Steve’s life illustrate his points and keep the material easy to grasp. The principles are sometimes obvious and sometimes deep. I found myself occasionally thinking, “Why didn’t I think of that?” (Many times, I did think of that, but had never articulated it so succinctly.) I appreciate his honest communication style and his gift of making deep concepts easy to catch.

“Genuine personal growth is honest growth. You can’t take short-cuts through the land of make-believe.” – Steve Pavlina

Truth

I resonated deeply with Steve’s recommendation for the importance of discovering your own truth and then learning how to live it on a moment-to-moment basis. We have all grown up in an era where we are brainwashed by the media. I know that’s a harsh assessment, but my own personal experience convinces me that it’s true. It’s a matter of degrees – some of us are mildly brainwashed and know it, while others are thoroughly brainwashed and clueless. (I explored this idea in depth in previous articles, “The Trouble with TV” and “Trade TV Time for Habits of Personal Development and Success.”)

“The cumulative effect of mass-media exposure is to condition you to adopt a false view of reality – one that upholds pro-advertiser values. The more you expose yourself to mainstream media such as television, the more skewed your mental model of reality becomes . . . this is a path of long-term laziness, apathy, and decay, not intelligent self-actualization.” – Steve Pavlina

Love

Here’s another topic that I have also explored in depth – connecting with other people. Steve explains how his wife, Erin helped him to open up to the fact that deep inside, we are really all one. Once that is experienced, relationships are forever changed. Close relationships become deeper, and new relationships begin to take on new dimensions. (I enjoyed exploring these important ideas in a previous article, “Meaningful Spiritual Relationships – Namaste Matters.” )

“There are few greater joys in life than the experience of conscious communication with another person. No ego games, false fronts, or manipulative tactics are employed. Both individuals simply want to connect with each other for the purpose of learning and growing. Once you’ve experienced such open, loving communication with another human being, it’s hard to settle for anything less.” – Steve Pavlina

Steve explains how Erin is a master of quick connections. She does this easily because she believes, rather she knows in her heart that we are all deeply connected, like individual cells forming one body. It’s not necessary for her to labor over creating new connections with people. Instead she just taps into the underlying connection she knows is already there. I’ve known a few people who can do this - my wife, Janey, for one, and it is a wonder to behold. It feels great, but I must admit, I’m still learning. I believe it, I love the idea of it . . . it’s just that I am still breaking through years of social conditioning and erroneous preconceived notions about our separateness.

“Instead of having to break the ice with someone, assume that there is no ice.” – Steve Pavlina

Power

The idea of exercising your own personal power and deliberately creating your best life is a theme that has run through many of my articles. I have known the value of this for a long time and continually explore new ways to do it better and better. It feels right to take the reins of life firmly in hand and deliberately steer it toward your deepest desires. What could be more important or more satisfying than to manifest the best version of yourself and the best life possible? (See “Your Passion as Your Compass,” and “Integrity Through Self-Reliance” and “Goal Setting or Let Go and Let God.”)

“When you set a goal that improves your present reality, what does it matter how long it takes to achieve the final outcome? Whether it takes one week or five years is irrelevant. The whole path is fun and enjoyable. More important, you feel happy and fulfilled this very moment. This drives you to take action from a state of joy, so you’re productive too. Instead of going after goals you think will make you happy in the distant future, focus on goals that make you happy right now.” – Steve Pavlina

Self-Discipline

Successful people usually have it. Unsuccessful people usually don’t. That’s a good clue about the importance of self-discipline in a successful and fulfilling life. To me, the idea of self-discipline is simply a promise I make to myself based on my current understanding on what’s best. It has to be best for me, as well as the good of the whole, for me to be able to get behind it and push when necessary.

“It’s your fail-safe, your motivational backup system . . . motivation starts the race, but self-discipline ultimately crosses the finish line.” – Steve Pavlina

Besides the satisfaction of completing self-appointed tasks as a result of well-functioning personal self-discipline, it feels good while the task is in progress too. It helps you feel good about yourself when you know you are capable of making an important promise to yourself . . . and then keeping it. (See previous article, “Self-Discipline in 3 Easy Steps.”)

Authority

Socrates said, “Know thyself.” That’s a good first step to being authentic. You can’t be yourself until you know yourself. Social conditioning has a way of turning us into homogenous drones . . . cogs in the wheel of industry and consumerism. There’s more to life that that. Much more. It all begins with our personal authority. Unless you assumne your own authority, don’t expect anyone else to simply grant it to you by default. (See previous article, “Know Thyself – Ignore Comparisons and Be Yourself.”)

“When you live without authority, your default behavior is to squander your time. You may acquire some knowledge, but you won’t apply it well. You may take some action, but your movements will be chaotic and unfocused. You have the potential to live a powerful, self-directed life of your choosing, but until you step into your true authority, this potential remains a fantasy.” – Steve Pavlina

Each of us have the responsibility and the profound privilege to take the raw materials of our life and turn it into the life of our dreams. It’s satisfying beyond measure – easily worth whatever it takes to learn how to do it well. This habit of mental discipline is not done in broad strokes but in the small details of life. It’s the little things over a period of time that add up to making a big difference. What are you doing today that has the potential of making a lasting difference in the quality of your life and your personal satisfaction?

“People of authority focus on what really matters to them. They don’t waste time on trivialities . . . What’s important to you in life? What’s a relative waste of your time? . . . If you can’t honestly predict a positive long-term impact from your actions, admit that you’re wasting your time, and set some goals that really matter to you. There’s no substitute for investing your life in something that has the potential to make a real difference.” – Steve Pavlina

Persistence

It’s easy to give up. Anyone can do that. And most people do. Succesful people, in all areas of life, are simply people who have tried and failed enough times to have gained a good education. They fall down, get up and keep going. They recognize it as part of the journey. The failures are opportunities to learn, so they don’t shrink from them. Instead they embrace the new lesson learned and press on. Persistent people are inspired people, and they are inspiring. (See previous article, “Persistence and Perseverance for Winners – Losers Just Quit“)

“I don’t get inspired by people who have all the external trappings of success like money and fame. I’m moved by those who I can see are destined for greatness, but no one else knows it yet. The telltale sign is always the same – persistence.” – Steve Pavlina

Courage

One of my favorite authors in Carlos Castaneda and the way he described his tutelage by the Yaqui Indian shaman, Don Juan. I’ve read all his books, some of them several times, so I wasn’t surprised when Steve Pavlina quoted Don Juan . . .

“Before you embark on [any path] ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path . . . When a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him.” – Carlos Castaneda

Does this idea hold any special meaning to you? The idea of a path with heart is a very personal idea, and only you can recognize the truth of your answer. It reminds me of the lyrics to one of my songs:

“And no one but you can find the answer to your quest
Your answer’s for you and not all the rest
(You know your answer’s the best, it’s not a contest)
The question is easy enough, and any honest answer is good enough
You really gotta know . . . . . what do you love?”
- From the song, “Do What You Love” by Tupelo Kenyon

When you are in alignment with what you love, your path has heart. You find it easy, even joyful, to take action. You’re commited, and you like it that way. It’s not a chore but a thrill to do things when you are on your path with heart. (To honestly explore your personal path with heart, see this previous article, “10 Steps to Discovering Your Life’s Purpose.”)

“It’s a great idea to consciously intent what you want, and I highly recommend you do that, but if you don’t want something badly enough to take direct action, then what does that say about your intention? Doesn’t that suggest you aren’t really commited to it? When you’re really hungry, will you wait patiently for food to arrive, or will you get up and make something to eat? When your intentions are important to you, direct action becomes part of the manifestation process. The best instruments of the Law of Attraction are your own hands and feet.” – Steve Pavlina

Intelligence

There’s something deeply satisfying about reading what an intelligent person has to say about intelligence. That’s one of the reasons why I have enjoyed reading Einstein’s words, who said, “Imagination is more powerful than knowledge.”

Steve is a very imaginative person, plus he has learned how to apply the knowledge he has gained. It takes intelligence to do that. His book allows him to take the next step which is to share what he has learned. He has worked hard on his communication skills because he recognizes the importance of sharing the wealth of his intelligence with others. I love being inspired by articulate, intelligent, big-hearted people . . .

“Intelligence is the highest form of human expression. Our intelligence is what defines us as human beings. It is our greatest strength, our staunchest ally, and our most noble pursuit. Without it, we are nothingness; we are form without substance and existence without purpose. It is only through the deliberate exercise of intelligence that we give our lives meaning, a meaning that is consciously chosen . . . the most intelligent thing you can possibly do with your life is to grow.” – Steve Pavlina

Habits

Personally chosen, deliberately cultivated habits help keep us on track. They are tools that allow us to translate our resolve into our daily lives. They simplify the day-to-day activities that help us get from where we are to where we want to be. Good habits are our friends, and I really appreciated the following jewels of insight Steve offered on the subject of habits . . .

“How do you know if a habit is positive or negative? Use your mind’s predictive powers to imagine what long-term, cumulative effect each one will have if you maintain it for the rest of your life . . .

“Since habits wield power over your results, you must wield power over your habits . . .

“Take a moment to consider the social consequences of your actions. Do your habits help others align themselves with truth, love and power, or does your behavior lead people astray? . . . Which habits put you on a path with a heart? . . . When your habits are aligned with truth, love and power, the guy in the glass is your friend.” – Steve Pavlina

Career

It’s inspiring to learn from someone who has figured out a way to harness his greatest gifts to experience abundance while helping others at the same time. This paradigm is still rarely manifested in our current society, but examples like Steve can inspire us to our own greatest potential of contribution.

“. . . the best way to optimize your income is to find a career medium that allows you to share your most important message. By sharing your message with others, you provide exactly the kind of value that can generate abundant income.” – Steve Pavlina

I appreciate Steve’s take on contribution vs. mooching. Many of us are taught to get as much as we can for as little as possible. That is, maximize the return while minimizing the input. The natural extension of this mindset is a nation (or a world) of people expecting a handout. It’s entitlement mentality run a muck.

Instead, Steve does a fine job of extolling the virtues (personally and globally) of a mindset based on contribution. When you provide value, it is inevitable that you receive value in return. It’s a wonderful idea and a tad sad that such a common sense approach has fallen out of favor in modern society. Imagine what it would be like if everyone dealt with one another with this dedication to contribution, rather than focusing on, “What can I get?”

“To build an authentic career, you need to find the path that keeps you aligned with truth, love and power. This requires paying attention to the following four questions:

1. Body (needs): What must I do?
2. Mind (abilities): What can I do?
3. Heart (desire): What do I want to do?
4. Spirit (contribution): What should I do?

“An authentic career is found in the place where all four of these questions produce the same answer . . . When you have all four areas working synergistically together, the combined effect is truly amazing. Instead of meeting your needs, you experience true abundance. Instead of applying your knowledge to your tasks, you unlock your true genius. Instead of tolerating your daily routine, you work in a state of joy. And instead of just putting in your time, you fill your days with a sense of purpose.” – Steve Pavlina

Money

It’s best to learn from those who know. I once had a college instructor who never once demonstrated what he taught. He taught a swimming class, and he never got wet. It was difficult to believe the teacher was much of an authority on the subject when he shouted his instructions from the sidelines. It would have been easier to learn from him if he would have joined us in the game.

StevePavlina.com is one of the world’s most popular personal development blogs (if not the most popular). With over two million visitors per month, he knows what he is talking about, whether he is speaking about personal development or financial development.

“. . . money is a human invention to facilitate the exchange of value. To shun money as something evil or unnecessary is a huge mistake. When properly aligned with truth, love and power, it becomes a valuable tool of conscious living – one that’s too important to ignore. If you want to live consciously, you must learn to use money intelligently . . . work within the area of overlap between your personal values and social values. This will enable you to do what you love while creating something that others treasure as well. Don’t force yourself to focus between your integrity and your income – demand that both be satisfied.” – Steve Pavlina

The section on money in Steve’s book is thorough and thought-provoking. It will challenge you to rethink your assumptions about money and how to get more of it. I feel confident almost everyone will benefit from this enlightened look at money.

“Do your best to create and share your value with others, and you’ll help create a richer and more abundant world for all of us.” – Steve Pavlina

Health

True to his commitment to personal experimentation, many of Steve’s major health improvements have been a result of his 30-day trial technique. This is how he proved to himself that his body responded best to vegetarianism. More energy, clearer focus, less sleep required, and other benefits convinced him to adopt it as a lifestyle choice after the 30-day trial period was over.

I am also interested in diet, nutrition and health and have devoured many books on the subject. I wrote a thorough review on one of my favorites. (See previous article, “Finally the Truth About Diet – The China Study Review.“)

The ideas in Steve’s section on health and in “The China Study” are not mainstream. In fact, they are controversial, not because they are so outrageous but because we have drifted so far away from common sense in our dietary choices. Yes, we are the product of insidious social conditioning and are trained to eat, not what is good for us, but what is most profitable for the advertisers to sell. Recognizing this fact is the first step to assuming responsibility for our own health and deliberately choosing what we put in our mouth.

“In order to be healthy today, you must exercise your self-discipline to overcome the drag of social conditioning. Summon the maturity to make intelligent choices for yourself, regardless of what throngs of sick people encourage you to do . . . the truth is that if the average person wouldn’t consider your current health practices extreme, you probably aren’t very healthy.” – Steve Pavlina

Diet and nutrition is a science in its infancy. It’s easy to find conflicting advice from different experts. (That’s one reason why I appreciated “The China Study” so much. It’s not based on any fad diet or conjecture or marketing hype. In fact, it’s based in emperical scientific evidence gathered during the largest nutritional study ever done on planet earth!)

Ultimately, each one of us makes the decision of what we eat. That one seemingly simple decision has a major impact on the level of health and vitality we experience throughout our lifetimes.

“You can delegate control, but never responsibility . . . If I give you any particular advice in this area that doesn’t resonate with you, you should reject it and trust your own judgement instead.” – Steve Pavlina

Relationships

We are all in this together and we are all in this alone. It’s an interesting paradox. Our lives are defined and given shape by the other people in our lives. The people we choose to spend time with influence us in many seen and unseen ways. Especially for those of us interested in personal development, we need to pick our companions carefully and deliberately in order to support our chosen direction of personal growth. (These ideas were explored in previous articles, “Choose the Companionship of Positive People Who Inspire You” and “Life Drama as Blockage to Personal Development.”)

“I’ve learned to place a great deal of trust in my feelings when it comes to relationships. When something feels wrong to me, I know the best thing I can do is to go to the other person and explain that something doesn’t seem right so that we can work together to sort it out. When you bring truth to your relationships, you build closeness and trust.” – Steve Pavlina

Some of our most important life lessons and aha moments come as a result of our relationships, so it makes sense to do our best to communicate well and be considerate of others. A little kindness goes a long way . . .

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting battles too,
Cruel wars within themselves, just like it is with you.
Be kind, because you’ll never know just how much good you’ll do,
A heartfelt word or two can soothe a hidden wound.

“Sometimes the ripples from our deed’s a gentle touch, doesn’t seem to matter much,
It’s like dropping flowers in the Grand Canyon.
And though we’ll never know just what becomes of them, it’s all the same to them,
So drop them anyway, because you can.”
- from the song, “Be Kind” by Tupelo Kenyon

One of the things I appreciate most about Steve’s book is the way he threads the themes of truth, love and power through all the aspects of personal development, including his very insightful look at relationships.

“Exchanges that are lacking in truth, love, or power eventually grow stale, but when all three elements are present, the blocks to deeper levels of connection and closeness are removed . . . What mix of truth, love, and power do you use to connect with others? Realize that your weakest channel will be the source of many of your communication problems . . . When you know your dominant connection strategy, you can use it deliberately to regain your closeness whenever you start feeling a little distant from one another.” – Steve Pavlina

Building close relationships involves an element of risk, but a little courage can make a big difference in the quality of your life. You can’t always expect other people to initiate the contact. Sometimes it’s up to you to extend your hand (and your heart) and invite people in. Imagine what you could miss out on, if you don’t.

“The biggest risks are missing out on laughs you never shared, people you never helped, and the potential partner you sentenced to solitude . . .

“Since all human relationships are impermanent, live with the awareness that every one of your current connections will eventually end. Take the time to appreciate them while they last, and don’t take them for granted. Even when a relationship ends in death, it can still continue in your thoughts. The memories of loving relationships can become your most sacred treasures.” – Steve Pavlina

One of our most popular songs explores this idea. Like love itself, it’s a timeless idea. Those we love go right on living in our hearts, long after they’ve left this world.

“And even though you’re hurting now, the hurting will not last,
The strength you gain from such a pain remains when it’s all past.
And even this will pass away, like this life itself someday,
And all that we take with us is the love we gave away.”
- from the song, “All That We Take with Us” by Tupelo Kenyon

Spirituality

In this section of the book, Steve challenges us to look at our idea of spirituality through the lenses of truth, love and power, rather than the conditioned habits of custom, peer pressure, and heredity. It’s an enlightened approach to spirituality, stripped clean of outdated dogma and exclusive ideas designed to keep us loyal to one particular brand. What passes for spirituality has a history of tearing us apart rather than bringing us together.

I love the way Steve encourages us to consider all things spiritual and take the best of what each has to offer. It assumes the ancient words of Shakespeare were actually true and that we actually care enough to keep an open mind rather than blindly clinging to any one viewpoint . . .”There are more things in heaven and earth than ever dreamed of by your philosophies.”

“Just as your physical senses act as a lens through which you perceive different subsets of reality, your spiritual senses also act as cognitive filtering mechanisms. These filters allow you to focus on bits and pieces of preprocessed information which may or may not be useful to you. The more spiritual sensory data you can access and comprehend, the richer your spiritual life will be, and the more accurately it will model truth . . .

“When we confront the key spiritual question of our lives, such as Who am I? And What is my purpose in life? . . . we can limit our input to a small subset of these channels. In general, when we limit our input too severely, we end up making things harder than necessary, much like trying to prepare a meal while wearing a blindfold and earplugs. This is what happens when we say, ‘I’m only going to consider this single spiritual point of view because it’s the one and only truth’ . . .

“Even though each channel of input has limited expressiveness, if you can access a diverse enough set of channels, each one compressed and filtered in different ways, you can develop a more accurate and complete picture of reality. Each belief system you consider provides another way of viewing the same underlying data, thus helping you develop a better understanding of the whole . . .

“By examining your problems from different philosophical viewpoints, you empower yourself. Holistic solutions finally start to emerge. You gain the ability to solve problems you were previously unable to solve . . . most of us are socially conditioned to overlook the simplicity of across-the-board, high-level solutions because we cling to fixed belief systems that prevent us from seeing the big picture.” – Steve Pavlina

These ideas are close to my heart as I look around the planet and see the result of so many people stubornly clinging to some particular brand of spirituality and refusing to see any merit in any other viewpoint. That’s got to be the manifestation of ultimate insecurity to not even be able to consider the validity of a different idea. (I explored this idea in previous articles, “Beyond the Brands of Truth” and “Beyond Science, Philosophy and Religion.”)

Clear thinking and honest exploration of truth is a refreshing approach to spirituality, and that’s why I appreciate Steve’s style of saying what he thinks and feels, even though it’s not the mainstream viewpoint. Far from it. But, I recognize that the tide is turning as more and more people worldwide are beginning to take responsibility for their own spirituality and making their own choices, rather than settling for being spoon fed by tradition.

“A multispectral philosophy of life – that is, one that combines input from multiple perspectives – aligns closely with what’s considered common sense . . .

“The point of spiritual exploration is to help you make conscious, empowering choices . . .

“Many serious conflicts in the world result from the decision to pass on beliefs that label other human beings as unworthy, damaged, or evil . . .

“Your beliefs are not merely observations of reality; they also shape and define your experience of reality. Many of the thoughts you hold most sacred may reveal hidden falsehoods once you take the opportunity to consider the alternatives.” –Steve Pavlina

Celebrating an Expansive Viewpoint

This empowering book, like all great books, performs magic. It allows us to take a peek inside one of the great minds of our time. As a result, it makes the inside of my head (and heart) feel bigger. What more could you ask for in a book?

These last Steve Pavlina quotes do a fine job of tying it all together . . .

“The ultimate goal of any sound spiritual path is to be infinitely truthful, infinitely loving, and infinitely powerful. By extension, this also requires infinite oneness, infinite authority, and infinite courage . . .

“If it were somehow possible for everyone on earth to come together and agree on a single spiritual philosophy, it would be one that incorporates the universal principles of truth, love, and power. These are the ideals that guide us not only as human beings, but also as spiritual beings . . .

“Invest in creative self-expression, service and contribution, and you will suffer no scarcity. Your greatest gift to the world is to share who you really are . . . No one is served by your refusal to shine.” – Steve Pavlina

Personal Appreciation

Although I don’t personally know Steve and his wife, Erin, they both feel like old friends that Janey and I haven’t yet met. Steve’s writings have been a source of inspiration and encouragement to me for a couple of years. I first went to his website as a result of a link in an email from Derek Sivers, founder of CDbaby.com. Derek was impressed that anyone could graduate from college after only three (very busy) semesters, and recommended an article Steve wrote on how he accomplished that.

I began exploring his other articles and it soon became clear I had found a kindred spirit. His example inspired me to begin writing again, and TupeloKenyon.com was born shortly thereafter. The blog spawned the “Inspired on Purpose” newsletter which provides satisfaction and inspiration for myself as well as others. I have Steve Pavlina to thank for all this.

Thanks Steve, for all you do . . . and all you are.

Sincerely,
Tupelo Kenyon

P.S. Get this book, while it’s in first edition. It’s a classic, and I could only hint at it’s empowering breadth and depth in this (rather long) gushing review.

While reading, did you choose to hear the relaxing instrumental music linked at the beginning of this article? To learn more about it, click here.

Listen FREE to the songs below . . . chosen to enhance the ideas in this article.


Do What You Love Discovering what we have a true passion for, and then figuring out a way to build a life around that passion is one of life’s greatest feelings of accomplishment. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor10} Be Kind Your example and the kindness shown to others can have a rippling affect that goes on and on. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor9} All That We Take With Us Even sorrow brings us gifts of deeper understanding and a clearer perspective of what is really important. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor3} Endless Journey Traveling has so many gifts to give! Spectacular scenery, interesting cultural differences, and the inspiring people you’ll meet. What a well-rounded education is provided by getting away and looking around . . . and, it’s an inspiring education that never has to end. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor8} Songs by Tupelo



The Trouble with TV Does TV enhance our life experience or get in the way of living our lives? Celebrate life with this refreshing perspective on the boob tube. Trade TV Time for Habits of Personal Development You” be glad you did, and once you go through the withdrawal stage, you’ll never look back. Your Passion as Your Compass Allow your passions to stretch their wings and the direction of your life could surprise you - in a good way. Celebrate life with passion! Integrity Through Self-Reliance When you live your life as if the whisperings from your soul really matter, you are living life in your own way, on your own terms, based on your own realizations on what is right . . . what is good . . . and what is true for you. You are tuned into your own station. The signal you are receiving and the message you are broadcasting with the story of your life are both on the same frequency. You are joyfully and gratefully choosing your favorites from the buffet of life. Goal Setting or Let Go and Let God There are two approaches people use to manifest their desires. Some set goals. Others surrender and presume the universe is conspiring to deliver to them their every desire without strain, in its own way and in its own time. Which way is better? Can these two methods be used together? Self-Discipline in 3 Easy Steps Why is it so difficult to follow through and accomplish what you set out to do? Usually, there is one important missing ingredient: personal discipline. For most of us, the idea of discipline is an external force - it’s something that comes from the outside. For instance, we discipline our children. Most of us are familiar with discipline as a verb (something we do to someone else), but we’re not so familiar with the concept as a noun - something we cultivate from within and apply to ourselves. Know Thyself - Ignore Comparisons and Be Yourself The average person is content to base self-knowledge on comparisons to other people. If this is the measure of self-knowledge, it is based on someone else’s standards. This practice misses the point of “Know Thyself.” Instead, it’s all about how to fit in. We are all unique individuals with our own strengths, talents and nudges leading us to embrace our own best life. True knowledge of self is attained from personal insights of looking inwardly rather than outwardly towards others. Persistence and Perseverance for Winners - Losers Just Quit Giving up is easy. Most people make a habit of giving up. In fact, they make a life of it Persistence through a solution-oriented attitude is for visionaries, dreamers and other winners who refuse to take “no” for a final answer. 10 Steps to Discovering Your Life’s Purpose Of all the self-help ideas I’ve come across through the years, this one has been the most helpful. For me, it’s been the Rosetta Stone of personal development techniques. After getting a handle on the idea of “purpose”, other areas of my life fell into place more easily. Finally the Truth About Diet - The China Study Review Finally, here’s an authoritative diet and nutrition book based on hard science and exhaustive research. This revealing book is written by one of the world’s most respected authorities in the field of nutrition. In his own words, he has been “in the system for almost fifty years, at the very highest levels, designing and directing large research projects, deciding which research gets funded and translating massive amounts of scientific data into national expert panel reports.” There is so much useful information in this book, I consider it one of the most important books I have ever read and give it my highest recommendation. Change your diet and change the quality of your life. Choose the Companionship of Positive People Who Inspire You If the people you spend the most time with are inspiring, supportive, encouraging, and they demonstrate qualities you want to emulate - great, you are on the right track. If not, it’s up to you to do something about it. Life is too short to put up with other people’s pity parties, bitch-and-moan marathons, and oh-woe-is-me clubs. Life Drama as Blockage to Personal Development Some people seem to relish drama in their lives. They go from one catastrophe to another. They thrive on it as if drama is what makes them feel alive. You may be able to see that they are attracting these experiences by their daily thoughts and feelings. But, they don’t recognize it from within the narrow confines of their personal drama. To someone immersed in drama, the idea that they are creating it is completely foreign. With intent, practice and mindfulness, what was once considered drama that snowballed out of control becomes simply examples of the contrasts of life to help you sharpen your preferences and shape your desires. Beyond the Brands of Truth Truth depends upon your belief. If you believe something is true, that makes it true . . . true for you. Of course, if you don’t believe that statement, never mind, because your belief defines your truth in another direction. But, we can commit to finding our own personal truth. We can hope our example will inspire others to look inside for their own truth rather than looking outside at the tumultuous world of competing brands of “truth.” Beyond Science, Philosophy and Religion Is truth absolute or relative? Is there anything beyond science, philosophy and religion? Many of the world’s top quantum physicists think there is. Celebrate life by stretching you imagination. Articles by Tupelo

Law of Attraction Says Focus on WHAT Instead of HOW

Tupelo — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:56:22 +0000

For instrumental music while reading, choose: hi-fi (broadband) or low-fi.

I need to know how . . . at least I think I do. It must be programming – long established, deeply anchored patterns of thought in my brain’s left hemisphere. The logical, systematic part of me insists upon knowing the step-by-step details of exactly how a thing is to be done.

Understandable, I guess. After all, that’s what school was all about – methodology and left-brain thinking. The attributes and benefits offered by the right-brain were mostly ignored. This was probably due to a large-scale lack of understanding.

The intuitive, touchy-feely right-brain approach to life is a new realization. As more people (and more educators) grow to understand it, I’m hoping our kids will eventually receive a more balanced, holistic education. (For a fascinating and inspiring look at how all this right-brain / left-brain stuff works, check out a previous article and the linked video: “Inspiration from a Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor.”)

According to my current understanding, the right brain interfaces with the world through inner guidance, hunches and feelings, with the help of coincidences and serendipities. All that sounds like an adventurous approach to life, but I must admit it’s not exactly the scientific world view pounded into my head by the educational system.

“Coincidences are a true paradox… on the one hand they seem to be the source of our greatest irrationalities–seeing causal connections when science tells us they aren’t there. On the other hand, some of our greatest feats of scientific discovery depend on coincidences.” - Josh Tenenbaum

The current educational system was designed and implemented by wealthy industrialists whose motivation was to train their labor force to keep the wheels of industry (and their profits) healthy. We were trained to be effective employees – well-greased cogs in the wheel. As a result, much was omitted from our education.

An example of a significant piece of the puzzle glossed over in school is the Law of Attraction. When I think back over my life, I realize how much I’ve benefited from learning about the Law of Attraction. I look around and see the results of my partial grasp of this powerful principle. (For details, see previous article: “The Law of Attraction.)

In a nutshell, the Law of Attraction says to focus clearly on WHAT we want to manifest into our lives and trust the infinite wisdom and inexhaustible resourses of the universe to work out HOW. Even after a few decades of being aware of this powerful principle, my WHAT is still accompanied by thoughts of HOW. They still come as a seemingly inseparable pair . . .

Peanut Butter and . . . . . . Jelly.
Abbott and . . . . . . Costello.
Pride and . . . . . . Prejudice.
What and . . . How.

I’d like to believe I’m getting better at it, even though I recognize I’ve got a ways to go. Hopefully, the realization that I could do it better is the first step to making it so.

In the past, when I was freshly brainwashed by the system, my thinking went something like this: “I want that . . . but since I can’t see any possible way to get it, it would be easier to just give up and pretend I don’t really want it. So, never mind about that thing I thought I wanted. I’ll try to only want things that I can understand the HOW.”

These days, I endeavor to approach it a little differently. Whenever I think, “I want that” . . . I’ll honestly admit that I don’t presently understand HOW it could be possible, but I choose to suspend disbelief.

Deliberately Suspend Disbelief

That seems to be a key point to this whole Law of Attraction approach to making dreams come true. Instead of pretending you really don’t want something when you know you do, allow the desire to remain. Don’t judge it. Don’t label it grandiose or improbable or impossible. Just acknowledge it and let it be. Declare a peaceful co-existence with it.

It’s not necessary for you to immediately know anything whatsoever about the HOW every time you desire a new WHAT.

You don’t even have to work at convincing yourself that you believe in all this right-brained, new-age woo-woo.

All you have to do is refrain from disbelief.

Be Neutral.

Your commitment to neutrality gives the Law of Attraction the benefit of the doubt. You honestly acknowledge what you want (instead of pretending you don’t) and you gently let it be. This approach gives YOU the benefit of the doubt too, because you’re not working against yourself.

Because of our predominant left-brained training, most of us try to manifest our desires in a very awkward manner. We typically work against ourselves in two important ways . . .

1) Whenever a new desire surfaces, if we don’t immediately see the HOW, we turn our back on the desire and pretend we really don’t want it. That’s bullshit and our inner self knows it.

2) If the HOW is not apparent, we believe the desire is simply not possible. This quick-to-adopt “belief” is not based on fact – it’s simply an uninformed opinion. It springs from a narrow, suffocating, self-defeating attitude.

This premature “belief” that something is impossible makes it so. Once again, if you are absorbed in the left-brain approach, you’re working against yourself. If you can’t count on yourself to be in your own corner, then who can you count on? Why would you do that to yourself?

Fortunately, quality resources are becoming available where we can learn how to approach our desires (and our lives) with a more balanced, holistic style. We can still benefit from the important left-brain mechanics we learned in school, but we can add the powerful right-brain skills now being taught as the The Law of Attraction and The Secret. (In fact, Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield and Michael Beckwith of “The Secret” fame have joined forces to teach these powerful skills. See their SGR website. Impressive!)

Realizing our education was rather one-sided is only half the battle. Next, we’ve got to do something about it. It’s important to be proactive and learn these life-enhancing skills deliberately. A recent experience brought this point home . . .

A couple of good friends recently told us they were going to England for a whirlwind tour of some of the sacred sites including GlastonburyTor and Stonehenge. Their friend is going too and she just happens to be a retired professor of language, archaeology, anthropology and. . . quote . . . “the world’s foremost expert on ancient mystery schools.” Our friend also mentioned (in so many words) that her intuition tells her we are to accompany them and provide an important song.

This friend has always been very inspiring. She never worries about HOW. She just listens to her intuition (closely) and lives her life accordingly. It’s a rare skill and one worthy of emulating.

In the old days, I would have said, “Yeah right . . . $3000 for the plane tickets, another grand for hotels and ground transportation, and blah, blah, blah . . .” My knee-jerk, left-brain response would have choked off the potential before it ever had a chance to bloom.

Fortunately, this time I remembered to approach it like this . . . “Hell yeah, of course we’d like to go. I have no idea HOW, but this sounds like a trip of a lifetime.”

I chose NOT to believe it was an impossible fantasy. I chose to shift into neutral and hang out with the desire and enjoy how good it feels to think about it.

A few days later, a new song was born called, “The Quiet Waits Forever.” Immediately I knew this is the song our friend alluded to. When she heard it, shed knew it too. It came easy and quick, so it seemed only natural to keep an open mind and be on high alert for coincidences.

“Coincidences are spiritual puns.” - G.K. Chesterton

Long story short – the trip was made possible in a way that we never would have anticipated. A new friend heard us talking about the unusual circumstances, and was moved to offer an amazing gift. She offered her frequent flier miles to cover our plane fare because she has “lots and lots and lots.” (Thank you Francie!)

Coincidence? Serendipity? Law of Attraction? Dumb Luck? I don’t know what to call it, but I do recognize that it would never have happened with my old left-brain approach. It’s easy to guess what would have happened if I would have immediately written it off as an impossible pipe-dream because the HOW was not apparent with the WHAT. With that attitude, nothing could happen – no coincidence, no serendipity . . . nothing. That closed-minded approach is self-defeating. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

“We could call it a coincidence, if that would be better for you,
But the way that it all fell into place was more than I could do.

Is that a glimmer of recognition, fleeting in our eyes,
A random act of happenstance, or a miracle in disguise.

I’m counting on a miracle, expecting a surprise,
Insight right between the eyes, or a miracle in disguise”
- from the song, “Miracle in Disguise” by Tupelo Kenyon

Instead, we just savored the idea of a wonderful journey, and lo and behold, the universe worked out the details and handed it to us. We didn’t even have to profess a belief in the woo-woo. All we did was chose not to dis-believe.

Little by little, I’m learning. Try it, and see what magic shows up in your life . . .

* Recognize what you want.

* Don’t deny you want it just because you don’t see HOW.

* Release disbelief in the possibility.

* Imagine what it feels like to manifest the desire (now, in present tense).

* Enjoy the process, and quit pretending you know more about the details of HOW than the entire universe. (For all you know, the universe may be conspiring on your behalf behind the scenes to bring you everything you desire and allow.)

Another important realization:

Even if all this new-age, right-brain woo-woo turns out to be poppycock, so what?

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what others think. Your thoughts and your feelings matter. What matters is living a satisfying, adventurous, love-filled life.

Your life. Your way.

Whatever it takes and whatever you call it, regardless of the belief system you adopt, your quality of life is the bottom line.

So allow your desires to see the light of day. Work with them and not against them. (See previous article: “The Dilemma of Desire.”)

Celebrate life with a sense of awe and wonder. It’s good to be alive. What a grand adventure!

While reading, did you choose to hear the relaxing instrumental music linked at the beginning of this article? To learn more about it, click here.

Listen FREE to the songs below . . . chosen to enhance the ideas in this article.


Miracle in Disguise Synchronicity is such a positive and hopeful idea, it begs the question, "Why not actively look for it and even expect it, as long as it feels good?" ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor11} Don’t Tell Me No Just don’t do it. It’s better that way . . . for both of us! ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor3} Time of Our Lives Time is so fleeting, so elusive, it’s good to remember the importance and power of living right now. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHere.html#Anchor7} Take the Plunge Their advice is "for your own good", but the last thing you need to hear is their worst-case scenario. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHere.html#Anchor11} No, Yes! Examines the folly of continually holding conflicting thoughts at the same time. Yes I can. No I can’t. I want that. But do I really deserve it? Around and around it goes. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor10} Traveler Hearing about another’s experiences can be inspiring, but to really know for sure what it’s like, there’s nothing like personal experience. "Go, so you will know." ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor4} Just One Step Just begin. If you will just get underway, the project itself gains momentum and carries you along to its completion. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor12} Celebrate Life Create your own personal celebration of life by your choices, rather than allowing life to be something that merely happens to you, or around you. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor2} Songs by Tupelo



	Manifestation Fill-In-the-Blank Formula Here’s a simple technique you can adapt to your own style. First, I’ll give you the formula as I currently use it. Next, I’ll discuss each word so you’ll see how it has evolved into its present state. Then, I’ll add some supporting information to provide you with a ready-to-go affirmation for your own experimentation. This manifestation technique is built around one simple sentence . . . The Law of Attraction With anything as important as the law of attraction, it’s a good idea to hear it described many times from many different angles. This article looks at it from several viewpoints as well as revealing how to get the understanding of the law of attraction from the prime source. Many links are provided including links to streaming mp3 songs that incorporate the principles of attraction in the lyrics. Celebrate life with an ever-clearer grasp of how the law of attraction determines your life experience. The Dilemma of Desire What is desire? Where does it come from? Why do we have it? Does it serve us in a positive way, or does it distract us and keep us perpetually in discontent? This article sheds some light on these important questions so that each of us can find our own answers. Goal Setting or Let Go and Let God There are two approaches people use to manifest their desires. Some set goals. Others surrender and presume the universe is conspiring to deliver to them their every desire without strain, in its own way and in its own time. Which way is better? Can these two methods be used together? Balancing Desire with Contentment It’s a fine line we walk between wanting more and feeling satisfied with what we have. Desire is unavoidable - it comes with the territory. So, the trick is to find the balance. There’s a middle ground to be found where deep feelings of contentment and satisfaction are spiced with the delicious excitement of something more on the horizon. How to Live the Life of Your Dreams Through Intuition Intuition feels good. That should be enough of a clue it’s something that can be trusted. But, our culture has done a thorough job of instilling doubt about the wisdom of following our instincts. Instead, we are taught to think things through and be logical. These mental tools are important, but they were never intended to be used instead of intuition. They work better when used in conjunction with intuition. If we are open to it, we get nudges and insights to move us in the direction of our greatest joys, our most valuable contributions, and our most satisfying life. Those quiet whispers and gentle taps on the shoulder are examples of inner guidance in action - intuition. How to Accelerate Manifestation Whenever a new desire or grand plan is born within us, the tendency is to share it with others. Every time we talk about it, the energy of the dream seems to deflate a little more, until it becomes merely a topic of idle chatter. Why is that? How can we add to the excitement and urgency of our dreams instead, and speed up their manifestation? Inspiration from a Stroke of Insight from Jill Bolte Taylor You’ve heard about the "right brain" and the "left brain," right? The left brain is all about logic and sequential thinking and the right brain is all about the abstract flow of consciousness and how it relates to "the big picture." Have you ever heard a description about watching from a peaceful, detached viewpoint as the cognitive brain functions slowly quit functioning? Have you ever heard anyone talk about what it feels like when the inner chatter finally quits and all that’s left is awareness? On this video, you will. Articles by Tupelo

Why Don’t We Stay in Touch?

Tupelo — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 12:00:55 +0000

For instrumental music while reading, choose: hi-fi (broadband) or low-fi.

We mean well, but we rarely get around to picking up the phone. We think of our friends and family often, but our busy lives get in the way of staying in contact. Yeah, that’s it. That’s my excuse . . .too busy!

Hey, they probably think of me too, at least occasionally . . . but they rarely call either. So, we’re even.

Emails are better than nothing, but even that doesn’t happen as often as it should. When was the last time you got a genuine hand-written letter? When was the last time you sent one?

A four-dollar birthday card is a reasonable stop-gap measure, but it really doesn’t do it. True, it’s quick to send and nice to receive, but it’s not the same as a more personal connection. For example, whenever you get a card with little or no personal note added, how does it make you feel? Short-changed? We all long for something resembling a real connection.

Here’s a personal example of this mysterious spotty contact. I have a cousin that I rarely see. Rob lives in the East. I live in the West. We have so much in common, it’s almost spooky. We’re about the same age. We both have one sister and no brothers. We’ve both been writing songs since we were young teenagers, and we’ve both been professional musicians for about 40 years. We’re both recording engineers, recording artists, graphic artists, etc. You’d think we’d stay in touch. Nope.

Every time we’re together, it’s great. It feels easy, comfortable and close, even if it’s been years. (And it usually has!) We enjoy one another’s company, and go our separate ways. Then we don’t call. We don’t write . . . no letters, no email – nothing. I just never get around to reaching out. Neither does he.

So, we’re incommunicado. I don’t know why, but that’s the way it’s always been.

How about you? How many people would you love to hear from? How many would love to hear from you? (Probably more than you think.)

Would you like to feel inspired about staying in touch with those who are important to you? Here’s an inspiring video on YouTube that’s been viewed over seven million times. It’s short (2:28) and sweet . . . so even busy people can enjoy it.

It’s about the bonds of friendship and family extending through time and space . . . and even between species. It’s an unlikely reunion between a full-grown male African lion and the human care-givers who rescued him when he was a tiny cub.

You may want to have some Kleenex handy. It’s a heart-warming experience. After you see it, you’ll know why it’s been viewed so many times. (I first saw it on July 30, 2008 and YouTube reported 7, 606,185 views. By the very next day, it reported 8,283,933 views.

Obviously, there are lots of people wondering why they don’t stay in touch better. This moving video has inspired millions to reach out and connect with those who mean the most. Enjoy . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adYbFQFXG0U&NR=1

P.S. Sorry this article is so short, but I wanted to finish it early so I have time to call Rob. (And maybe a few others!) Here’s an easy way to share this video - scroll down and click on the link that says, “Email this article to a friend.” (It’s below the related articles and above the box detailing my free newsletter.)

While reading, did you choose to hear the relaxing instrumental music linked at the beginning of this article? To learn more about it, click here.

Listen FREE to the songs below . . . chosen to enhance the ideas in this article.


Low Maintenance Relationship Life seems to be all about relationships . . . to our friends, families, lovers, and to our creator. There’s always room for improvement. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor7} Hand in Hand and Heart to Heart "You and I drew a good lot in life." We never take it for granted, but continually re-create it on a daily basis looking forward with imagination and gratitude. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescX.html#Anchor16} Time of Our Lives Time is so fleeting, so elusive, it’s good to remember the importance and power of living right now. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHere.html#Anchor7} Where Only Freedom Flies To be together and feel free at the same time is the essence of a relationship of mutual personal growth. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHere.html#Anchor13} All That We Take With Us Even sorrow brings us gifts of deeper understanding and a clearer perspective of what is really important. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor3} Lovin’ Gold Having someone to share the details of your life with is bound to be one of the very best definitions of living a wealthy life. Someone to love, dream and grow with through the years is a wonderful way to feel rich, complete with the potential for compounding interest over a lifetime. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescHB.html#Anchor5} Roots and Boots We all begin our lives standing on the shoulders of our ancestors. To take a moment to try to understand what they saw, and feel what they felt can help to make our own view just a little bit clearer. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescAnth.html#Anchor1} Lovers of the Heart Isn’t it interesting that lovers feel even closer together sometimes when they are apart. How many times throughout history do you suppose lovers have stared at the moon at the same time, from different locations, with their hearts overflowing for their beloved? ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescAnth.html#Anchor12} Take My Hand Companionship and the sharing of love is the thing, whether it lasts a moment or a lifetime. ^{http://www.somemusicmatters.com/DescAnth.html#Anchor19} Songs by Tupelo



10 Ways to Grow a Relationship of Mutual Personal Development Even though the way of discovery and personal growth is a one-lane road, it sure is nice to be able to share stretches of it with someone else. With what kind of person could you share something so profound? If having this kind of life partner is important to you, have you asked yourself, “How can I be that kind of person? Choose the Companionship of Positive People Who Inspire You If the people you spend the most time with are inspiring, supportive, encouraging, and they demonstrate qualities you want to emulate - great, you are on the right track. If not, it’s up to you to do something about it. Life is too short to put up with other people’s pity parties, bitch-and-moan marathons, and oh-woe-is-me clubs. Communication - Friend or Foe Our communication skills can make or break us. This article includes some refreshing insights on communication from an unusual vantage point. Celebrate life with newfound attitudes about the art and science of communication. Good Listener Secrets - Listen with Your Heart When someone is talking to you, do you hear with your ears, monitor with your mind, or listen with your heart? Invest a few minutes thinking about the importance of listening well - a deliberate conscious act - and watch your relationships grow to a new level of closeness and understanding. Gratitude for Home and Family Home and family is literally the center of our universe, but how often do we take it for granted? Celebrate life through gratitude for our sense of home and the people we share it with. Make Assumptions Obsolete by Communicating We assume because we don’t know. We don’t know because we don’t ask. We don’t ask because we act as if we already know. Or, we don’t want to appear stupid. So we make an assumption. Then we forget it is merely something we made up, and we behave as if it’s a fact. When the facts are known, it would never occur to us to assume. The solution is clear communication. When we know the truth, assumptions are forever unnecessary. Meaningful Spiritual Relationships - Namaste Matters Behind the faces, beyond the reach of social conditioning, deeper than individual egos, we are identical. We are presence, consciousness, pure knowingness - the awareness of “I am.” We are life itself. Celebrate life with this insight on how to take your personal relationships to a whole new level. Articles by Tupelo